I Still Carry On....

I never understood what people meant by the meaning: "Turning a new leaf", until a few days ago, when a great tragedy struck me, I won't disclose that, just in brief, it was one of those moments when I felt a huge void in my life, as if my soul had been taken away from me.
I was very depressed, disheartened, but, something inside me refused to bend in to the situation, probably the first time it has happened in 20 years, I didn't know I possessed such ferocity to turn around & face the incoming turmoil, which seems like a little joke now, may be, it was the defeat that gave me strength, which solidified my feelings, which taught me to stand tall.
May be, this thing happened in the best interest of me, now, I think, I've changed quite a lot, little by little leaving the past & starting a new life with new goals. The best part: I've managed to seal the past completely, never will I indulge in anything that'll be a reminder of those dark days.
Sometimes, I ask myself, "Is this really me?", I get the answer from within, an emphatic "Yes". I can changed myself, I can be what I always dreamt to be, not fooling around, not chatting around, more reserved & calm & composed than ever.
This is the second phase, I know I have to go a long way in order to fulfill the dreams, but, the process has already started, I won't ever turn back. What's done is done, what's gone is gone.

I'm alive, I've survived the darkest days, I'm not a quitter.
The old "Me" is history, it's now a newer version of the same old soul, a rejuvinated, replenished one, one which will also have some disadvantages, but, those will be overshadowed. Some may not like it, I can't help it.

To someone special: I can dodge your fire & survive, can you dodge mine??

Bangalore, 18:48 IST.