Eternal Dreams

Reminiscence

2010-11-30T01:13:00.000+05:30

I enjoyed those walks in the rain,
Holding hands together -
Love birds flying down winding lanes
In the day's third quarter.

I enjoyed talking endlessly at nights,
Regardless of what the time might be;
Making up after silly little fights
'Cause our love had a strong unity.

I enjoyed wiping the tears off your face
And holding you closely in my arms,
Changed the moment to another time and place -
Till your saddened heart was calmed.

I enjoyed those sweet exchange of words,
From long distances, through our eyes,
Feelings flowing through air, undetered -
Like the night sky's filled with fireflies.

I enjoyed staring at you for hours
Marvel at your angelic beauty;
You were by far the most beautiful flower
In all the gardens of the city.

I enjoyed kissing you gently on the lips,
And breathing in your sweet smell,
Having my hands around your hips -
Dancing merrily in a live "fairy tale".

I often cherish our happy memories
That have stood the test of time,
Though we're now separated by seven seas
I still enjoy calling you mine.

Why Do I Care?

2010-10-22T01:36:00.000+05:30

Why do I still care about you when you don’t love me?
The eyes bleed, the heart aches everyday,
Your memories flash back with vengeance, and
leave me helpless on the ground, writhing in pain.

Why do you still come and haunt me?
In my dreams, so loud and vibrant –
as if it was real and I want to get your touch,
Yet a huge barrier separates our two worlds.

Why does your voice still ring in my ears?
A thousand sounds can’t drive it away,
I shut my ears trying to impede, it only gets louder -
and my soul burns for that was the sweetest tone….

Why am I still alive even if you are not here?
To stand as a pillar as a testimony to our failed love, maybe –
a living example of a body already lifeless
But the night seems long and the walk seems hard….
Why do I still care about you when you don’t love me?

Consequences

2010-09-27T14:25:00.003+05:30

"I don't love you anymore" she said
And stormed out the door,
The loud crash of the wood reverberated around
the dimly lit room, Shattering the silence,
contesting the rhythmic beating of a broken heart
He stood still as a stone, too overwhelmed to move,
an unexpected reply - a stab with a sharp knife;
His heart sank but his mind kept working -
"I have to make her mine" he murmured
And silence reigned once more - a ghostly veil
consumed him into its deepest interiors.

The crowd had gathered around the street
Where the body lay in a pool of blood -
Her eyes were wide open, a look of horror in them
Death was circling around her like a hungry vulture
A distant sound of an ambulance fainted into the chatter,
the blurred voices of a hundred alive souls,
Unknown faces staring down with remorse,
staring down at the innocent face -
She did not deserve to meet such a fate
A shadow came forward and stood directly beside her
A familiar face - she blinked her eyes.
He has come to rescue her, to take her in his arms,
to love her and hold onto her forever....
The man smiled crookedly - a gesture enough
to turn her burn her dreams into dust
"Why?" - a single word escaped her dying voice
"I had to make you mine" he smiled,
and vanished in the darkness again.

Blog Platforms

2010-06-17T23:16:00.002+05:30

Ok so I thought I would change the blog platform and close this blog and try my hand on Wordpress instead. There are many reasons, the major one being that I need to update a hell of a lot of things in here that I haven't been at par with since I kind of quit blogging after December, 2007. So I registered on Wordpress and opened up a new site, but it didn't suit my liking. I like my current style and templates (appearances) a lot better and Wordpress seemed to be not so user-friendly (maybe that's just me, but I had that feeling). Anyways, I am kind of back to blogging after this long hiatus and hoping I would come across my old buddies who I miss a lot now-a-days.

And for all those who read this, all I have been doing these past few years was playing a variety of online games. :P

A Life's Tragedy....

2010-03-12T00:45:00.001+05:30

As I lie on a moonless night under the blue, starry sky,
Thinking of the world around, and all my earthly ties
I realise I have to leave all these and walk past the line
To reach another sphere of life, only known to “time”
Suddenly a mortal fear grips my saddened soul -
What if I fail to accomplish all my unfulfilled goals?
Will the Lord forgive me for my shameful incompetence -
Or, shall I have to sit in a corner and forever repent?
Faces of my loved ones flash in my mind;
It will be so cruel to leave them behind
So I wonder why were we made to be like this-
First to secure a strong bond and then to strip it off with ease?
For I shall be gone and my body will turn black and gross.
But the people close to me will suffer an irreversible loss,
If only I could take them with me to the “other world”,
And decorate my life with a necklace of pearls;
A new fear arises – the fear of death,
With striking vengeance, I'm nearing to it with every breath.
The lush green trees, the sparkling blue water, all seem so familiar to me,
My sweet, humble home lights up as a glorious canopy,
The people of the world, their caring love and warm smiles:
Surpassing all boundaries, stretching for endless miles
With this, my body feels numb as my heart lets out a silent cry
That I could only appreciate the beauty of this world when I was about to die....

Everything You Ever Need In Me

2009-12-17T14:48:00.000+05:30

I will be the one you can fall back to for support,
I will be the one to first propose -
exciting new ideas that can spice up our life,
and give all the earthly pleasures to my beloved wife.

I will be the one you can take out your anger on,
I will be the one to take you in my arms and keep you calm -
and releive your worries and fear in due course of time,
only to ensure that my sweet girl will be forever fine.

I will be the one you can lay your head on to cry,
I will be the one to gently wash away the tears until they get dried -
provide you with courage and happiness to make you smile,
and make you feel that our close bond has been really worthwhile.

I will be the one to kiss you and give eternal love,
I will be the one to hold you close and not let go when the times are rough -
only to see the bright sparkle of hope in your brilliant blue eyes,
and the first sign of success after a thousand failed tries.

I will be the whole world to you,
And you will be the whole world to me,
There will be so much love running through us,
Nothing else we will ever need.

An Irish Airman Forsees His Death

2009-08-28T22:02:00.001+05:30

I know that I shall meet my fate
Somewhere among the clouds above;
Those that I fight, I do not hate,
Those that I guard I do not love;
My country is Kiltartan Cross,
My countrymen Kiltartan poor,
No likely end could bring them loss
Or leave them happier than before.

Nor law, nor duty bade me fight,
Nor public men, nor cheering crowds,
A lovely impulse of delight
Drove to this tumult in the clouds;
I balanced all, brought all to mind,
The years to come seemed waste of breath,
A waste of breath the years behind
In balance with this life, this death.

----W.B. Yeats----

....Wishes

2009-08-18T14:53:00.004+05:30

I wish I could
In every moment, each day
Take your hands and
Guide you all along the way.

I wish I could
Hold you close to me
Smell your sweet breath
And kiss your lovely lips.

I wish I could
All through the night
Caress your beautiful body,
Shining in the pale moonlight.

I wish I could
Give you all that you desire
Exchange my happiness
With your darkest fears.

I wish I could
Lie by you all the time
Our lives would be full of flowers
Blessed with eternal sunshine.

I wish I could
Make you hear my heart beat
And let you know
You are living in every part of it.

I wish I could
Make you and me a cherished love story
Studded with deep attraction
And go down as famous in History.

I wish a lot of things,
All of them seldom come true
One wish I pray to have
The wish - I could have you!

Un-named #02

2009-03-16T01:47:00.006+05:30

Everything is in place
Yet, nothing seems to be there;
I feel trapped in an unknown land
Longing for someone I can't see,
Longing for someone I love, Yet
never met nor touched.
A shadowy face flashes before my eyes,
A ghostly silhoutette against the night
I grope in the dark, Trying to
find answers to unasked questions
Friends, family, life, everything is still the same
But, I am different,
In pursuit of my unknown love....

Empty

2009-03-16T01:41:00.004+05:30

The empty ache of loneliness
A hollow emptiness
A desperate want
For their caress
To fill the void
Left by invisibility
Butterflies flutter
When you meet their gaze
Knees weaken, just for a second
As they brush past
Then light-headedness
When you smell their scent
Then laterIn the quiet of the night
The empty void of want
Loins aching for them
Then hollow emptiness
The constant companion
The loneliness
Of unrequited love

----Anonymous----

Destiny

2008-06-17T19:10:00.003+05:30

He rushed into the house,
And hugged his mother with a ferocious intensity,
And said, "I'm in love"
"Yes, I'm in love", as if
he himself wanted to question its validity
His mother eyes sparkled in a questioning look
"She's Leresa,
and she is the Goddess sent from above."
His mother was happy for him,
After all these years, he'd finally found his girl
Now, it was time for the happiness to commence
She immediately sent for the lovely lass,
A beauty that must be equal to the glowing pearl, who
had the power to overwhelm her boy's heart;
And destined to become one of the richest princesses.

The figure stood facing her,
Her black manes overflowing on both sides,
"She's definitely a sight to behold",
thought the overjoyed mom,
"Tell me, oh dear sweetheart, do you really love my son?"
The girl was taken aback, she staggered away a little,
And slowly replied, "No, I never loved him"-
An answer which sent a million arrows
through the mother's heart
Shattered it to pieces, tore it apart,
But, came the faint reply, "He loves you so much..."
The girl shook her head as a sign of disagreement, and said,
"I don't love him, I can't love him"
And then her face became all plain and grim
Giving a tragic end to this transient episode.

The mother knew that the girl was poor,
Her father was ill and on Death's door,
So, she offered help:
"I'll pay you for your father's expenses
And in return, you have to pretend
that you're in love with my son"
Leresa looked aghast, shocked at the woman's heartlessness,
Yet, to save him, she didn't have any other choice
And had to agree to her mind's silent noise
As tears rolled down her rosy cheeks.

So, they were married in a week,
A happy couple who was blessed by the whole town
They honeymooned in the Family Villa in a little island
And to the world, they seemed
the greatest lovers in History to be written down
The boy was filled with pride; he was the luckiest person on Earth
When he looked at the majestically curved face,
And lost himself in those serene blue hypnotising eyes.
The mother was ecstatic in seeing her son smiling,
What she couldn't see was the girl's silent mourning,
It didn't matter to her, coz,
she didn't care for Leresa's feelings,
She was a winner, which was all, she wasn't a human being
And yet, she'd conquered the thing called "Love".

Then, tragedy struck one day,
The girl's father lay dead on his bed,
Silent as night, still like stone
Sadly, there was no-one for him to mourn,
Only her daughter at his bed-side,
For people despise poverty.
To the girl, the deal had ended,
There was no need to return to the "airy" cage,
So, she took shelter in her lover's house
The next day, the boy saw them-
Passionately holding & kissing each other,
Through their open door;
He wished them luck secretly as he stormed
through his palace sobbing,
The next day, they found him in a grisly state-
Wrist-cut, demented, lifeless on the floor....

The Christmas Poem

2007-12-24T12:51:00.000+05:30

Christmas is the time when everybody cheers,
All the religions- in both the hemispheres,
As all the rich & poor forget their fears
And celebrate the festive occasion with food, clothes & beer.
This is the time when all foes unite,
A universal brotherhood overcomes every fight;
Darkness fades away, prevails only light
Truly it can only be a God’s might!
The follower of Christ in every part,
On this festive day, can’t stay apart-
This a time for friendship, no time to hurt,
Its all the preparations for a brand new start.
The poor families who work everyday
But, now they are happy & gay
For only one day, their happiness stays,
What they do is only pray, pray & pray.
In India also, the joy is no less,
And you can see the spirit in everyone’s face;
Though the Hindus are more than the Christian race:
The epics are lost & Jesus has taken their place!
I also have quite a nice time,
With all my friends till half past nine
Help all the needy in every single line:
Its only my wish- they would’ve a jolly good time.

Remember Me

2007-12-23T12:07:00.000+05:30

Do not shed tears when I have gone
but smile instead because I have lived.

Do not shut your eyes and pray to God that I’ll come back
but open your eyes and see all that I have left behind.

I know your heart will be empty because you cannot see me
but still I want you to be full of the love we shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live only for yesterday
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of what happened
between us yesterday.

You can remember me and grieve that I have gone
or you can cherish my memory and let it live on.

You can cry and lose yourself become distraught
and turn your back on the world
or you can do what I want - smile, wipe away the tears,
learn to love again and go on.

*I can't go on. I must go on. I'll go on.

----David Harkins----

Un-named #01

2007-12-22T11:45:00.000+05:30

My friends ask me, 'Why did you? '

An answer demanded, to which I've no clue,

Realise it is futile to struggle on,

The only term which can describe me is 'gone'.

I wordlessly fade away in tears,

My soul has been overshadowed with fears;

Only memories in my heart I can keep,

Still there're many more miles to go before I sleep!

Taare Zameen Par: Review

2007-12-21T15:39:00.000+05:30

First of all, what I really liked about this movie is the simplicity in acting, none of the actors/actresses tried to act out of their skins.

The film's hero, Darsheel Safary, is a talented boy, no doubt, his expressions, acting really portray the work of a professional.

The film starts with Ishaan Avasti (Darsheel Safary) being dragged into his school bus after school as he was busy catching fishes from the drain. The boy comes home, and displays a childish tendency to disobey his mother's orders & when being questioned about the exam results, he diverts his attention to other works (coz he has got 2/25 in some paper) & he is ashamed of the fact. The story glitters on as we see our hero bunking school & enjoying his day outside, a symptom that he is someone special, not like the ordinary boys who follow the die hard schedule of school life. He sees the world from a different perspective, he dwells in his own world, animating simple objects into something playful. His problem: he commits spelling mistakes & he seems to have an odium for studies, the sole reason he is being sent to a boarding school (so that he can pick up his self).

The strict discipline maintained there also don't help as teachers mock him & scold him, humiliating the child's soul & obliterate's his self confidence.

Enter Ram Shankar Nikumbh (Aamir Khan) as the art teacher, who, soon understands the pattern of mistakes done by Ishaan & visits his home, where he is shown the child's earlier works, and much to his surprise, he learns that Ishaan loves to draw, a fact which shocks him as the latter refused to draw when asked generously by him. He experiences the boy's creations & even understands his internal turmoil when he sees the dreaded notebook where the same drawing is drawn, father, mother, elder son & younger son, the last fading away from the family with each turning of the page. He identifies this problem of Ishaan as dyslexia, in which the child has is impaired & can't distinguish among letters, sounds, numbers etc.

He takes it upon himself to improve Ishaan's ability to cope with the other "normal" students and at last, his hidden talent is recognised by all, when he wins the drawing competition organised by Nikumbh, proving that its love which can heal all disorders, not scoldings & strict discipline.

Rating: 8/10

Director's Note

P.S. Enjoy the special background music, "Kholo Kholo" from this film.

From The Eyes Of A Litter

2007-12-19T19:21:00.000+05:30

(Although “litter” means “rubbish things, garbage” etc, here I’ve used it in the context of a human being )

As the dawn breaks in beckoning a whole new day,
A shackled life searches for a way to exist,
The eternal firmament, seems, but a dusk of gray,
The soothing air, just a demented, grisly mist.
Sprouting of green leaves never happen in my life;
To imagine of tomorrow, hurts like one beastly pointed knife!

Lying by the side of the roads, inhaling dusty smokes,
With just a shattered gown to warm the soul,
These eyes gaze at speeding cars & busy people-my only hopes,
As I prepare myself for another battle, holding the blessed bowl.
Spits, abuses & awkward stares will be hurled at me,
Yet, I cannot, but plead with clasped hands, help this rusted body.

Sometimes a note, sometimes a clinking coin enriches my pot,
Sometimes a vicious kick leaves an agonizing black spot;
This has been my life through all these years & more,
As I’ve experienced countless internal uproars.
My identity is not a human, but a beggar,
And though you say, “I care for you”, you’ll despise me forever.

Immobile

2007-12-17T13:30:00.000+05:30

Empty spaces feel me from inside

Like a large vacuole engulfing its prey

I feel a minute tinge of pain, running down my spine

I feel light, I experience something divine

Black shadows encircle me, Communicating

with my soul, beckoning it to interpret their silent words

A pale glow pre-dominates in the eyes,

Eyes that've seen much, tolerated much,

Eyes that've seen every loving touch,

The blackenend blood winds its way upto the poisoned heart

Sending pulses for it to relieve the body of any more misery.

People around me talk in some unknown language,

Unknown, or known, but seems to be unknown?

A svelte veil shields the animate from the inanimate

I ask slowly. "Is this what it feels like to be enlightened?"

A voice deep inside cogitates, and whispers,

"This is what feels like

Death."

Dream Deferred

2007-12-17T11:54:00.000+05:30

What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up
Like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--like a syrupy sweet?
Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.
Or does it explode?

----Langston Hughes----

EPL Super Sunday: Liverpool v/s Manchester United

2007-12-16T21:05:00.000+05:30

A classic Sunday showdown between two arch rivals, Liverpool & Manchester United, only 6 points separating them, a match everyone was looking forward to, as Rafael Benitez (Liverpool Manager) set onto re-write his record of a poor performance of his side against the Red Devils in the last 6 games.

Game starts: Anfield Liverpool in their traditional all red, Man U in all black.

It was a tension packed exciting encounter between the 2 football Giants, full of tackles, bookings, heated arguments. Liverpool had their chances, with Fernando Torres with the best chance of the game heading the ball off target while Van der Sar was out of his marked space. The Spaniard wasn't at his majestic best, the kind of form he is capable of & the kind of form he in the game against Marseille.

In the 43rd Minute, Carlos Tevez flicked on from a Giggs corner after Rooney had sent it firing towards the goal, the opener more a result of poor defending & no marking from the hosts than class from the Argentinian forward.

Liverpool really heated things up in the first part of the 2nd half, but, Ferdinand, Evra, Vidic & Co. were rock solid at the back, determined to see through the rising pressure. United had another chance to double their lead, but, Wayne sent it wide.

Liverpool tried hard, but couldn't net in an equaliser, Steven Gerrard failing to inspire his team, unlike many times.

At the 93rd minute, the whistle blew, bringing an end to Liverpool's chances of getting to the top as they drifted 9 points apart from the defending champions, Manchester United.

Final Score- Liverpool 0:1 Manchester United

What a match, full of excitement, never did I feel bored while my eyes were glued to the TV throughout the whole episode. Waiting for the next match now, another Grand Slam when Arsenal host Chelsea in the Emirates Stadium.

Took a short break & came online to have an updated score on my blog. :D

Do Not Go Gentle Into That Night

2007-12-15T12:02:00.000+05:30

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on that sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

----Dylan Thomas----

May Be I'm Addicted....

2007-12-15T11:10:00.000+05:30

Throughout my 20 years, I have fallen victim to several addictions (not drugs of course, and also not gambling), most of the addictions have been harmful playing crazes, a determination to see the end of the game within a week, or doing stuff that won't lead me anywhere. Here's a summarized list:

1) Crazy about Harry Potter & liking everything about the teenage wizard, an addiction in itself, I would buy every available stuff (shirts, pencils, erasers, game CDs & other HP merchandise) & I am not mentioning the books here, as I have gone through the majority of them a zillion times. At one point of time, I was so obsessed that I was prepared to go to Oxfordshire to meet Emma Watson (Hermione Granger) & also audition for a role in the forthcoming movies.

2) Then came WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment), I would each show on TV twice a day, one in the evening & one at night, I was completely taken over by WWE. I would perform the "wrestling" moves on pillows, and began to go to gym & develop my muscles (a move that I don't regret now). I dreamnt of wrestling, I ate, slept, drank wrestling, it seemed the most beautiful thing on Earth & several times I told my mother: I wanna be a Wrestler, nothing else. I was so engrossed with the thing & once, when I was in class 9, a heated argument with a friend resulted me in "choke slamming" him on the study table, he didn't go unconscious, but was badly hurt & our class teacher called my mother & complained about my violent behavior. She later wrote in my slam book (on the penultimate day of class 9) that I was Muhammad Ali!

3) My peak teenage years, 15-18 were spent in indulging in various acts, of which girls played an insignificant role, well, I always wanted a girl, and still want her now. Nevertheless, smoking, which I took up in class 11, as fun, turned into an addiction, it didn't go beyond all barriers, but, I dunno for some reason, I loved smoking, as to me, it gave a sense of freedom, a feeling of maturity, I didn't smoke out of depression or sadness or tension, nothing like that, but out of fun, I know it seems insane, but that's what it was, I smoked for fun. (I managed to quit it a year back).

4) Next came, the online game Tribal Wars, a strategy game, like Age Of Empires, a strategy game that I couldn't take my eyes off. I would sit hours (usually 12-14) in front of my laptop (I was in hostel then) & chalk out plans to attack my enemies, defend myself against incoming dangers, grow my empire etc. I would advise all of you to try out the game, it's cool, but gets boring after sometime.

5) Then, comes Orkut, I started with: What the hell is this fucking thing? People keep on sending me requests in my e-mail to join it, I was a little apprehensive of making the move, but, eventually I joined the gargantuan network of friends & blessed it for reviving the falling relationships with my school buddies. Here comes the funny part, when I came back to Kolkata, I took up Orkut seriously & would be online in there 24*7, scraps, as they call them, became my obsession, I would toil day & night to increase them. When I finally deleted my account on 31st October, 2007, I had 760,010 scraps, and this isn't a lie, I was ranked #31 in India & #1 in Kolkata & West Bengal.
Well, I do have an Orkut account (which I use not-so-often) & I have another 76 Accounts which I don't log into at all (so you can well understand my craze about this thing).

6) My latest addiction is Blogging, you can find me online in Blogger, for more than 10 hours a day, checking others' blogs, writing stuff with a frequency & intensity I never knew I could achieve & have also made some very good friends, some of whom I would mention in here: The girl with a zillion namesakes, Clouds (Deya), Nothingman, Sean, Arnold & many more, with whom I can share feelings & thoughts.

-Sam.

Invictus

2007-12-14T12:39:00.000+05:30

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how straight the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

----William Ernest Henley----

The poet was suffering from tuberculosis in his joints, he wrote this poem while he was on bed.

Black....

2007-12-14T12:19:00.000+05:30

I came to Kolkata with high hopes of enjoying time with friends, meeting relatives, going out, having fun, spend time with my mom.

Look at my current situation, I am confined to the shelter of my study room, as carpenters work on the door of my bedroom, my mother too busy in her daily schedule & has diverted her attention to the carpenters. No time for me, sadly.

My friends are all battling for dear life, with their semester exams going on, and they'll continue upto 18th or 20th of December, so another week of dull days for me, sitting in front of my PC & blogging or playing FIFA 2007.

Coming to relatives, my closest & dearest cousin is also having her exams, my uncles are outta town with their families, my cousin bro is sick, and so, I've reached a dead end in here also.

So, I'm here counting days which seem to continue for eternities & cursing my luck for having such a horrendous time in my home town.

Announcement

2007-12-13T23:24:00.000+05:30

Added a new background music to my blog, I hope the readers would like it, its one of my favorites of all time, if not the favorite, "Right Here Waiting For You" by "Richard Marx."

P.S. I have also created a poll on "Background Music" asking for the opinion of the readers, please feel free to Vote.

Regards,
-Sam.

Alone With Everybody

2007-12-13T14:39:00.000+05:30

the flesh covers the bone
and they put a mind
in there and
sometimes a soul,
and the women break
vases against the walls
and the men drink too
much
and nobody finds the
one
but keep
looking
crawling in and out
of beds.
flesh covers
the bone and the
flesh searches for more than
flesh.

there's no chance
at all: we are all trapped
by a singular
fate.

nobody ever finds
the one.

the city dumps fill
the junkyards fill
the madhouses fill
the hospitals fill
the graveyards fill

nothing else
fills.

----Charles Bukowski----

I really like the title & the amazing contradiction of words which prove to be accurate at the same time.

Celebrating Christmas

2007-12-12T10:51:00.000+05:30

We, the people of Blogger, are, after all, middle class people, some rich too. We celebrate Christmas splendidly, because, it is the one day of the year where we all can unite. We become spendthrifts, trying to buy or provide every possible amenity that our loved ones can desire. So all in all, Christmas to us, is a time for merriment. Everyone is happy. It seems that there can't be any sorrow anywhere.

But, what about the poor, hapless children crowding in the road-sides? What about the beggars who live on the streets? What about the fever-stricken, homeless people of Africa or the neglected ones? Have we ever thought of them? Did someone ever ask them, "What do you need?" or, maybe, "Would you like a new cloth?". The answer is no. We all are too pre-occupied with our own selves. But, they too are humans, they too have dreams & they too like us, want to celebrate Christmas. But, all their wishes vanish into thin air for they are poor, their lives have been engulfed by poverty & negligence. The children, they too want to dress in new clothes & go to the churches to pray, but, all they get is maybe, a torn cloth. Sometimes, we see that there are a few well-wishers who donate somethings to them, like food, necessities, clothes etc. But, only few, very few, & that too, when do charity work, that is donate to organizations, half of what they give, don't go to the intended people in need. So, the bottomline is, they remain in misery. And that dstroys all their dreams.

But, this scene can be changed if we, collectively, help them to get out of this situation. We spend so much lavishly, we don't have counts how our money gets spent, here & there. Can't we just do something to see our fellow human beings live a happy life? Can't we each just donate $1 for their welfare? In a large city like New York or Paris or London or Mumbai , a one-dollar contribution from each person can lead to a huge sum of money, running into millions. That would be more than enough to provide for all of them.

But, we would think, what we would get in return? They can't repay us. Probably not, we can't get any expensive things from them. Or maybe, we can, we can get their smiles, their happiness, which we'll feel happy that we've given them, & last we can get their blessings, which is far more expensive than all the material wishes we desire in our life.

Hmm..What To Say?

2007-12-11T15:22:00.000+05:30

The following article contains explicit adult content & reader discretion is advised. The views expressed are purely the author's views & readers have the full right of agreeing with it or conflicting/contrasting with it. Please don't read it if you don't think you can handle the words!!
This is a request, not a command.

Well, I had always prided myself on being more informative about life of the people of The States or United Kingdom than others, mostly my friends. I have chatted with many people, the majority of them being teenagers.
At first, I thought that their way of growing up was so adventurous & exciting, they are free-birds after they turn 16, completely independant in whatever activities they indulge. In India, to some extent, we're bogged down by our parents, a fact is not to my liking. Then, as I grew more experienced on their way of growing up, I got the real picture & it seemed really atrocious & disgusting to me.
Here, I'll add that I am not criticizing the whole American or British culture, because not all people are like that. But the vast majority of teenagers, I don't know for some reason are nothing but sex crazy people. If you visit Chat Avenue or for that matter any other leading chat site & enter one of the rooms, all you'll see are the following messages & comments which inundate the page:

1) Any horny girls wanna see a hot naked boy wank on cam, please private message (pm) me, only cam2cam (c2c) & hot, sexy girls with great boobs.

2)Any sexy boys who wanna show me their big dicks/cocks & pay me $1 or Pound 1 for seeing my completely naked show, please pm or add me in Msn [and then, they give their respective e-mails]

I don't know what has gotten into these people, well, if they are 18+ & they wanna have sex or c2c, then, its ok, but a couple of days back, when I visited a chat room for a normal friendly chat, a 12-year old girl asked me, "Would you mind fucking me hard? "
I was completely taken aback by such an outrageous statement coming from a teenager who was on her first years of puberty.
It seems that most of the teenagers can't think of anything but sex & love & seduction. Here again, I am not taking into account all the people, but, the dominant force, that is the teenage society who love to test their adult skills at the bare ages of 12,13,14 etc.

Well, to conclude with, I would say Indian culture (or way of growing up) & our lifestyle are much more ethical & moral than their ways. I don't blame their parents, because most of them work & they don't know what their sons & daughters are doing at home. Maybe, I sound a little harsh, but, that's the real story. It would seem wrong on our part to indulge in full-fledged sex in our early teenage years, but to them, it is not as they're accustomed to it & it is right to them.

Many of you (especially Americans & Britons) after reading this article may blame me or criticize me or abuse me, I will take that heartily, but, do you think that its right for a child of 12 or 13 years to think about losing virginity at that tender age instead of concentrating on her studies, you can't deny that its true. May be, you people like that, appreciate that, and to a poor humble Indian, it only seems against morality. Believe me, this article is the result of 5 years of chatting with teenagers from nearly all the states of USA & nearly the whole of UK, its not a mere dull imagination of mine, its not a grudge, its a reality, I am not against teenagers indulging in sexual acts, I am against kids & early teenage people having that impression on their minds that sex is the all-important thing on Earth, a thing they simply just can't wait for till they turn 18 or 20.

P.S. Very few Indian girls/boys can be found in such websites lingering on, looking for sex.

New Installation

2007-12-10T19:00:00.000+05:30

Installed the new shout-box, I sincerely hope that visitors will use, it. Hell, if they don't I will use it & keep chatting with myself! Lol.

On a more serious note, please test out this one, I know many of you are familiar with it, so

Keep Shouting!! :) :)

-Sam.

A Sunday Showdown

2007-12-09T20:32:00.000+05:30

Story from Times Of India & Bangalore Mirror

Scene: Cubbon Park, MG Road, Bangalore, Sunday, 25th November, 2007.
A green tree snake slithering on a tree branch, trying to look for food on a damp afternoon in the city. It eventually found out its victim, a baby parrot, peacefully lying in its shelter, unaware of the incoming danger. The snake seemed to be ready for the kill, a nice meal which would serve the purpose of meeting his needs for the day.

Enter the Parent Parrots & there was a twist in the tale. The mother started guarding the nest, while the father took his aim at the snake's tail, in a desperate bid to teach him a lesson. The snake, completely unprepared for such a violent resistance, retreated back a little, but, didn't altogether abandon his mission. He kept crawling towards the nest. The mother parrot had seen enough, and she too, joined in the attack, pecking away on the tail of the hapless snake with a venomous intent. The combined efforts of the parents proved a little too much for their opponent who was clearly looking to get away with a easy catch, underestimating the power of the birds. He started his retreat back into his den, but, the parrots followed & kept on nagging & striking him near the caudal region.

Visitors to the park watched, awed by the scene they were experiencing, too overwhelmed to take any action. Eventually the Forest Officials came & rescued the snake, which would otherwise have been gravely injured & treated it.

P.S. The strategy & the on-the-spot courage & plan of the parrots amazed me, they knew that if they tried to take on the snake one-on-one facing him, they would make a meal out of themselves, so instead, they took the back door & came up triumphant, saving their baby & winning the hearts of the stunned onlookers.

Original Story from Times Of India:

A hunt for a snake created panic among visitors at Cubbon Park on Saturday noon. An 8-foot-long rat snake climbed a Gulmohar tree in front of the Bangalore Press Club in search of a meal.

Calls of alarm from a bunch of parakeets trying to protect their newborns and unhatched eggs on the tree attracted onlookers. Soon, a brigade of photographers converged on the spot.

After an SOS was made to a snake rescue team, reptile conservationist Mohan reached the spot and rescued the snake.

It was released at Bannerghatta National Park.

Conservationists, however, say, this amounts to "interference with nature”. Hundreds of reptiles co-exist with other creatures in Cubbon Park.

"It's unfair to relocate them," an urban ecologist said.

"This is the breeding season (September to January) of Rose-Ringed Parakeets, which are common in Cubbon Park, along with 100-plus bird species. They nest in tree holes carved by the Lesser Golden-Backed Woodpecker.
The snakes generally feed on the eggs and newborns during this season," said an ornithologist.

London At Night....

2007-12-08T13:30:00.000+05:30

Memories of the bustling city from the dark corners of my mind....

The Big Ben, standing tall & handsome, overlooking the teeming millions gliding past it, no time to admire its uniqueness & beauty.

The old double-decker, the heart of London, an experience on its own, though there are double-deckers in Kolkata also, this was a completely new enriching experience I had, treasured in my cerebrum.

The majestic Thames, the soul of the capital, slithering on at her own pace, ignorant of the happenings of the city, the people who worship here, love her, adore her & depend on her for their livelihood.

The famous red telephone booths, witnesses of innumerable movies, stand alone beckoning the visitors to have their own "moments of fame."

The road-side benches, a perfect place for lovers, sitting in the dark & utter words of romance, the trees shielding them from the voyeurs who haunt the streets at night.

A perfect blend of every element of Earth, a visitor's paradise in terms of sight-seeing, shopping, enjoyment, you name it, you will get it!

Dreams

2007-12-08T03:36:00.000+05:30

Dreams I have,
Where I am never wrong;
Dreams I have,
In which I remain forever young.

Dreams I have,
With skies of sun & blue;
Dreams in which
Every known wish comes true.

Dreams I have,
In lands of seas & plains,
Dreams where there are
Only bullock carts & steam-trains.

Dreams I have-
Strolling on winding roads studded with trees,
Dreams which show
Honest people residing in peaceful cities.

Dreams where colorful birds sing
And what a joy it brings to hear their melodious tones,
Dreams in which animals subsist
In perfect harmony, nurturing their owns.

Dreams I have, where money is
Not the indispensable craze on Earth
Dreams in which life canters on,
Love has no dearth.

Dreams in which a million stars
Sparkle as bubbles of hope,
Dreams where existence thrives
Without the slightest tinge of grope.

Dreams where I can see, I'm happy
Contended with my own humble ways,
Dreams in which unknown future glows
In bright, glistening rays.

Dreams where I have the person I love
And she's with me through all
Dreams in brief, dissolve each grief
Only Death will bring my downfall.

Dreams which seem strikingly real
Dreams which arouse expectations,
Dreams in which I cross frontiers
And migrate to every nation.

Dreams 'they' say, I shouldn't have
For those are hard to believe,
Dreams get shattered, pulling me down to Earth,
Proving to be mere fantasies!

Betrayal

2007-12-06T00:28:00.000+05:30

Her eyes were transfixed upon him,
Her face bore a perplexed look of utter disbelief,
Hands drawn close to her chest-
Shielding the scarlet mosaic of blood.
The vibrant colors had turned into a ghostly white,
Her mouth was open in an awkward shape,
Trying desperately to squeeze out some words.
Tears streamed down the "once rosy" cheeks,
She experienced a sudden thrust of agonizing pain;

As a final action, she recalled the past memories,
They were so much in love, (or seemed to be in love),
They were inseparable, Oh!
all the promises he'd made to her,
Of lifelong companionship & continual support,
They seemed so hollow now, false & unreal;
Oh! the divine moments, were they all illusory too?
Yes, her life was only a struggle in vain!
He, whom she'd trusted above all, Had
betrayed her, had stabbed the knife into her heart
And tore it apart
With a merciless blow;
"How...." the words faded away into the murky silence
The blood congealed in the circulating veins-
Her lifeless body crumpled on the floor....

A Hall Of Mirrors

2007-12-06T00:10:00.000+05:30

In the International Museum of Mirrors in Burbank, California, I was standing alongside my parents & little sister. They were getting bored, looking at their dumb reflections circling the room on all sides. I gazed at the stupendous panoply.
“ Come on, let’s go,” my sister blurted out.My parents agreed at the suggestion, but I stood fascinated at the numerous pieces of me staring at me with bespectacled eyes.I told my parents that I’d stay there a little longer & promised to meet them in front of the museum in half an hour. They agreed & walked away. As I went from place to place, studying each one carefully & distinguishing it from the other, I had a strange sensation that I was being watched.
“I am being watched by myself only,” I chuckled at my joke. When I stood in front of one & was examining it, I saw a flash of light in the glass & then a completely different world appeared before me.

I noticed that I’d grown up into a minister & was the president of The United States Of America. I was enjoying the power in my hands & lavishly spending my time.A phone rang, I picked it up & smiled heartlessly & cruelly.When my sub-ordinates enquired about the matter, I told them the whole of Asia has been conquered; they’re now in our hands.There was a burst of applause & congratulations started pouring in.I was at once named the most successful of all the presidents & thoroughly honored.The White House became the subject of every conversation. Washington D.C. was showered by innumerable supporters from all parts of the country- Dallas, New York, Philadelphia, Miami, Anchorage, Las Vegas, San Francisco & many others.Press reporters & cameramen flooded my sides, asking all sorts of questions about my remarkable achievement. The TV channels flashed pictures of thousands of tortured men & women, lying naked on the streets, dead.Vultures & other scavengers were zooming in & feasting on their big supper. The ones alive were made prisoners-of-war & treated like slaves. Chains tied around their necks, they were being dragged across the pavements. The pain they suffered was excruciating.All my American soldiers were laughing their hearts out, the inhuman cruelty seemed like some form of amusement to them.The newspapers read lengthy articles with huge headings “3 cheers for the President” & “America: The ruler of the world.”
Seeing the intolerable scenes, I turned away from the mirror in abomination & walked to another one, my heart aching with agony that I could be so unforgiving, heartless & monstrous. But, as I rounded off another mirror, a similar flash appeared & in it, I could visualize myself as a doctor, a cardiologist surgeon.

This gave me some hope & I looked in more closely. I was the head of the department of Cardiology in the J.F. Kennedy National Hospital in New York City. I was a respected person & reputed too. At that time, I was engaged in a critical surgery involving a heart transplant. The success rate being very rare, I was gripped with anxiety & tension & never, lost my heart. After 12 hours of brain cracking nervousness, I emerged victorious, I’d saved a 80 year old woman from the hands of death. I felt on top of the world & full of life & happiness, nothing could go wrong, it seemed. There was much excitement inside the operation theatre, all my colleagues congratulating each other. When the world comes to know of my achievement, I’d surely be awarded. And as expected, the very next thing I knew was that I was being awarded the most prestigious medal in the history of medicine. The newspapers hailed me as “The Savior” & my picture flooded the television channels. On the skies above, I could see God smiling at me, blessing & beckoning me for more such performances. Glad at heart, I left that mirror too, thinking about the huge contrast in my character that I’d witnessed just a moment ago. So, I learnt a valuable lesson that exercising unwanted powers to rule over the people doesn’t earn a place in heaven, but, helping them is the surest way to salvation. I thought of the U.S. president misusing his powers, killing people like a tyrant & on the other hand, a man saving the life of another fellow human being in the same country!

As I neared the exit doors, I could see my family beaming at me.“What did you learn from a bunch of mirrors?” father asked.“A thousand valuable things that can’t be told,” came my answer.My parents & sister looked at me with narrow, questioning eyes.
I smiled to myself, “You’ll never know what priceless teachings I got from them.”

Unspoken Grief

2007-12-04T23:30:00.000+05:30

A silent tear punctuated
His placid eyes, And
swiftly rolled down his cheek onto the floor,
A forlorn moon gazed at the black silhouette-
Standing at the window,
His mind racing in another universe, Of
happiness & freedom,
A life he'd longed for so badly,
A life that would end all his miseries.
Below, the roar of the sea intensified his
Dying feelings, Intensified his restlessness
to abandon this material world,
To reunite with his Lord.
He wouldn't have to be itinerant any more,
He wouldn't have to beg for mercy any more,
Many a crime he had perpetrated with ruthless aggression,
And yet, he had felt sympathy for the victims sometimes.
He wasn't that bad after all.
"But, what does it all matter now?", he said aloud
"When Black has engrossed me?"
This inevitable end seemed to be the only fitting conclusion
For a life led in an inscrutable manner, A life
difficult for the ordinary to comprehend.
Yes, he had accomplished all his goals,
And now it was time to lay down his soul
On the Eternal Earth,
For he had abhorred life!
The golden days sparkled ahead,
Free of human emotions, free of earthly entanglements,
A life less desired by the ordinary,
But he was no ordinary.
At this thought, a smile spread across his lips,
Lightened his heart, soothed his nerves,
He was free, he was alone
He was going Home,
Yet, there was the tear....

The Years Go By

2007-12-03T20:24:00.001+05:30

By my beloved friend, Suprateek Mitra....

I still remember the days I walked into nursery,
A small little bag & absolutely no worry,
School was great! School was fun,
I always longed for the next day to come.
Games and streamers were all that were that there;
Wherever I looked- here, there & everywhere.

On came the years.
And we all grew with it,
The kiddish jokes disappeared
And days had practical jokes in it.
School was good, school was good.
And all things went on as they should.
Junior, Middle & Senior came by-
We sat on the wings of time, and let it all fly by....

"Let's bunk class!" became the new motto,
It still is, but everyone gets tired of it....
Someday!

Years went on, studies became harder,
And what do you know? We all became smarter....
Though the years still go by,
There no longer will be school-
For, it's going to end in a month or two.

As the years go by, we will fly-
But there is going to be no school,
And that my friends, is a reason to cry!

A tragic reality we all have to accept, we all have to get used to, how hard we crave to get those days back, time doesn't permit us to fulfil our desires, and those glorious days we enjoyed in our "second home" remain sparkling as diamonds in our "pebble-studded" life!

P.S. The author of this poem was too lazy & shy to post this on his blog (www.supratik.blogspot.com), so, I took the initiative of bringing this poem into the limelight with the consent of my friend.

The Stone

2007-12-02T03:42:00.000+05:30

"And will you cut a stone for him,
To set above his head?
And will you cut a stone for him--
A stone for him?" she said.

Three days before, a splintered rock
Had struck her lover dead--
Had struck him in the quarry dead,
Where, careless of a warning call,
He loitered, while the shot was fired--
A lively stripling, brave and tall,
And sure of all his heart desired . . .
A flash, a shock,
A rumbling fall . . .
And, broken 'neath the broken rock,
A lifeless heap, with face of clay,
And still as any stone he lay,
With eyes that saw the end of all.

I went to break the news to her:
And I could hear my own heart beat
With dread of what my lips might say;
But some poor fool had sped before;
And, flinging wide her father's door,
Had blurted out the news to her,
Had struck her lover dead for her,
Had struck the girl's heart dead in her,
Had struck life, lifeless, at a word,
And dropped it at her feet:
Then hurried on his witless way,
Scarce knowing she had heard.

And when I came, she stood alone--
A woman, turned to stone:
And, though no word at all she said,
I knew that all was known.

Because her heart was dead,
She did not sigh nor moan.
His mother wept:
She could not weep.
Her lover slept:
She could not sleep.
Three days, three nights,
She did not stir:
Three days, three nights,
Were one to her,
Who never closed her eyes
From sunset to sunrise,
From dawn to evenfall--
Her tearless, staring eyes,
That, seeing naught, saw all.

The fourth night when I came from work,
I found her at my door.
"And will you cut a stone for him?"
She said: and spoke no more:
But followed me, as I went in,
And sank upon a chair;
And fixed her grey eyes on my face,
With still, unseeing stare.
And, as she waited patiently,
I could not bear to feel
Those still, grey eyes that followed me,
Those eyes that plucked the heart from me,
Those eyes that sucked the breath from me
And curdled the warm blood in me,
Those eyes that cut me to the bone,
And cut my marrow like cold steel.

And so I rose and sought a stone;
And cut it smooth and square:
And, as I worked, she sat and watched,
Beside me, in her chair.
Night after night, by candlelight,
I cut her lover's name:
Night after night, so still and white,
And like a ghost she came;
And sat beside me, in her chair,
And watched with eyes aflame.

She eyed each stroke,
And hardly stirred:
she never spoke
A single word:
And not a sound or murmur broke
The quiet, save the mallet stroke.

With still eyes ever on my hands,
With eyes that seemed to burn my hands,
My wincing, overwearied hands,
She watched, with bloodless lips apart,
And silent, indrawn breath:
And every stroke my chisel cut,
Death cut still deeper in her heart:
The two of us were chiselling,
Together, I and Death.

And when at length my job was done,
And I had laid the mallet by,
As if, at last, her peace were won,
She breathed his name, and, with a sigh,
Passed slowly through the open door:
And never crossed my threshold more.

Next night I laboured late, alone,
To cut her name upon the stone.

----Wilfred Wilson Gibson----

The poignancy & intensity of the woman's love & the heart-writhing sadness still continue to mesmerize me, after I have gone through this one more than 30 times.

Fortitude....

2007-12-01T17:53:00.000+05:30

I've died in a thousand dreams
I've strolled on a million lands,
I've committed innumerable minute errors-
That have pulled my life into a quick sand.
Teachers have punished me for various wrong doings,
Friends have treated with disrespect for the unspeakables;
Parents have hung their heads in shame
Trying to cover up my actions, terming them with different labels.
Elders have been outraged by the shocking arrogance
Girls have fled from the insolent behavior,
God has also shunned this eccentric soul-
Leaving me to be my "own life's seer"!
Obstacles have deterred me from achieving salvation
Society has kept me in an unremitting exile,
Failures have shattered tiny bubbles of hopes,
Degrading it to a baffling journey of countless miles!
There isn't a tragedy that has eluded me,
There isn't a thunderstorm that hasn't passed by my door,
I've been "long dead" in the books of the cowards,
No, I'm alive, standing unscathed, asking for "more"!

Those Glorious Prehistoric Days....!

2007-11-24T13:32:00.000+05:30

Have any of you seriously considered what are you doing in this world, working tirelessly & aimlessly for what little bit of gold which eludes most of us? We seem to be eagerly & patiently waiting for the Sun to shine on us, to make our lives happier, but, no, that's the way the world revolves, most men die unhappy. Let me summarize the life of an ordinary man.

After birth, till your late childhood, you would be under the watchful eyes of your parents, not going away from the main stream, not doing anything funky or rash which will harm the reputation, that's quite all right.
Examinations take up a lion's share of our early life, nerve-racking exams, you study hard, remember some, forget the most, in the exams, nail-biting goes on endlessly, your mind straining to remember that minute piece of information which you happened to glance through with the corner of your eye. When finally they do get over, more tension sets in, fear of results & how you've fared compared to others, who was a little better & who was the loser. This carries on until the biggest of them comes into your life.
You sit for your board finals, your family forces or at least pressurizes you to take up a conventional field, a path trodden by flocks of people, secure a good career, get a fat sum of money. Never do the parents tell us, "Son, it's upto you to choose what you wanna be, it's your life & our role has all but ended." Well, not never, but, rarely do they encourage us in taking up a course of our choice, always the traditional courses seem to be lucrative.
Nevertheless, whatever subject you take up in the hope of "excelling", it always turns out to be "the most outrageously tough & the least likeable subject as you progress through the years." A much-awaited degree after 3 or 4 years, and then, another struggle for campusing & getting into a good company with a reasonably good starting salary, or more misery with pursuing higher studies.
Life would seem to have taken a turn towards the good when you marry, but, you soon found out that there is more conspiracy waiting against you. Imagine this: you would toil 10 hours/day, sacrificing your body & soul, your wife & children will enjoy the fruits of your hard work. I would seem, overly selfish, yes I am, I can't imagine someone giving his whole life without cherishing anything of it. That's what you get out of life, after birth, 20 years of following strict rules of your elders, then 30-35 years of monotonous work with fat cheques which you hardly fail to utilise.
Then, the last part of your life is spent in taking care of your grand-children & living at the mercy of your children, if they pity you, you're lucky, if they aren't that sympathetic, you'd have to live the remainder of your days with the pension drawn from your hard-earned salary.
The terminating point of your struggle is the last breath you respire, before death engulfs you, and people shed some perfunctory tears & soon forget the 75-80 years a person spent in this world. Exceptionally rare are those cases & exceptionally lucky are those who live through their works in people's hearts, maybe 1 in a million, the ratio is almost microscopic.
Can you argue with me that I've laid a plain & simple, yet, the most painful truth about life, which you were oblivious of.

Go back to a few thousand years, in the Paleolithic or the Neolithic Age, the life of a Cave Man. What a life! You are born, nothing to force you to do this & that, you roam around aimlessly, pick up the tricks from your father or uncle or elder brother about how to light a fire or hunt down an animal. That's eat. You eat, you sleep, next morning, you wake up to an encouraging sunrise, hunt some more animals, teach your race a new trick you've successfully discovered, the remaining part of the day goes by swiftly. A few more years, you are ready to have that all important feeling about someone namely "love", you're ready to start a family, have a intercourse, give birth to a young, then, slowly experience your child grow up & follow in your footsteps. You die a happy soul, having maintained the continuity of your generation, which is the ultimate purpose.
Also, in those days, people were loved other & showed compassion, not like the half-human, half-robot alienated morons of today. They lived a happy life, thrived on what they had, who needs fancy instruments, automobiles with blinding speed or gargantuan wealth to make one's life prosperous?
Surely, they lead such a wonderful existence, I personally feel, the more we've advanced, the more we have become automated, driven by our sick desires to be on the top & control the world, pushing the concept of brotherhood to the back. A century later, we would be completely mechanical, without any feelings or emotions, we would understand only one word: money.
Then, I'll see how many of you want to live that kind of existence.
Given the chance, I would choose a life of an illiterate human who knows how to enjoy his life, the way God created us, He wanted us to stay like that, otherwise, he would have created us with instruments or tools in our hands, but, we proved to be smart & establish our superiority, we proved ourselves to be the most imprudent all the animals on the Earth!

I Still Carry On....

2007-11-17T18:32:00.000+05:30

I never understood what people meant by the meaning: "Turning a new leaf", until a few days ago, when a great tragedy struck me, I won't disclose that, just in brief, it was one of those moments when I felt a huge void in my life, as if my soul had been taken away from me.
I was very depressed, disheartened, but, something inside me refused to bend in to the situation, probably the first time it has happened in 20 years, I didn't know I possessed such ferocity to turn around & face the incoming turmoil, which seems like a little joke now, may be, it was the defeat that gave me strength, which solidified my feelings, which taught me to stand tall.
May be, this thing happened in the best interest of me, now, I think, I've changed quite a lot, little by little leaving the past & starting a new life with new goals. The best part: I've managed to seal the past completely, never will I indulge in anything that'll be a reminder of those dark days.
Sometimes, I ask myself, "Is this really me?", I get the answer from within, an emphatic "Yes". I can changed myself, I can be what I always dreamt to be, not fooling around, not chatting around, more reserved & calm & composed than ever.
This is the second phase, I know I have to go a long way in order to fulfill the dreams, but, the process has already started, I won't ever turn back. What's done is done, what's gone is gone.

I'm alive, I've survived the darkest days, I'm not a quitter.
The old "Me" is history, it's now a newer version of the same old soul, a rejuvinated, replenished one, one which will also have some disadvantages, but, those will be overshadowed. Some may not like it, I can't help it.

To someone special: I can dodge your fire & survive, can you dodge mine??

Bangalore, 18:48 IST.

You....

2007-09-29T02:16:00.000+05:30

You're the one who gives me strength when I feel let down & alone,
You're the one who listens to me when my words bearly come out,
You're the one who takes my hand & guides me to my home,
You're the one who soothes me down when I scream & shout.
You're the one who writes to me when the pages are empty,
You're the one who sings to me when the sky above is grey,
You're the one who kisses my head & loves me a plenty,
You're the one who cares for me & you're the one who prays.

You're the one who resides in my heart,
You're the one whose name is written with me,
You're the one soul with whom I'll never part,
I am yours & forever will be.

Modern Day Leaders

2007-09-27T13:06:00.000+05:30

As it should be, leaders should be idols, role models for the others to follow. They should set examples that others can copy. We had such great leaders like Lincoln, George Washington, Nehru etc. They loved their people & in turn, people loved them. They worked for the welfare of their people.
But look at the modern day leaders, the presidents & the prime ministers. They are more inclined on exercising their powers, asserting their hold on other weaker countries, trying to intimidate & conquer them. Whenever they find their ways are not being followed, they want to set hell upon the poor, hapless countries. And some other powers also join them, who have the distinction of wagging their tails like dogs, obediently following the superior power.
Shouldn't we do something to change this situation? We can all do something, maybe protest or revolt, because, it is for our own good.
After all, what has happened to these countries, may someday happen to us too, when a greater power than our country emerges.

Don't Know Why....

2007-09-27T02:31:00.000+05:30

Well, I have visited many places. I like travelling which has taken me to different corners of the world. But, what I would like to share with you is that, especially in the USA & UK, Indians don't get what they deserve. I mean, there is still an inborn feeling, maybe, in the Britishers that as they've ruled us for over 100 years, they are superior to us, they are still better than us, although we surpass them in many quarters. The racial discrimination is very much prevalent too in America. We, Indians, often don't find jobs even if we've have the best qualification, & there are also instances that Indians have been threatened by their colleagues to leave the job. I just don't get it. I mean, we, are after all, humans, but, still in this modern era, there exists difference between the black & whites.

I don't know if my article will be well-taken by all of you, but, what I've said is the truth. All I ask is that we should be given due respect & honored where we deserve it.

Nature Turning Hostile

2007-09-27T02:18:00.000+05:30

Mother Nature, these two words used to mean a lot to us, back when we were in the 19th century, we used to care for Her, respect Her, protect Her. Fast forward to the 21st century, & we are digging a grave for Nature, & also probably for ourselves.

Increased pollution levels, air, water, sound pollutions all are slowly contributing to the slow destruction of this world, this lovely planet. We smoke, emissions from automobiles like the harmful Carbon Monoxide, dangerous amounts of harmful gases like SO2, NO2 etc. are all the responsibility mankind has to take for its slow elimination. We are dumping wastes, radioactive subtances incessantly into rivers & seas & oceans, doing underwater nuclear testing, but, have we ever thought that all these will come to haunt us in the future if we don't take immdeiate action?

Perhaps, we have already paid a heavy price for our carelessness.

The disastrous tsunami of 26th December, 2004, which wiped out thousands across countries of south-eastern asia & damaged these areas beyond repair, is an example. Next comes the earthquakes, floods, repeated tsunamis, the hurricanes in the eastern coast of the United States. So many calamities have never been recorded in such a short span of time in the history of this planet. Surely, no one can deny that mankind has played the leading role in bringing about these disasters.

On top of that is the global warming, with the temperature of the Earth constantly at a rise, with the scientists & environmentalists warning that by the end of this century, the temperature would rise by 5 degrees Celsius.

This is the time for us to think, to re-consider our ways, to stop polluting the Earth anymore. We are posing a threat to our own existence, we are putting the lives of our children in jeopardy.

Its left to us to decide if we should take action now, or learn the hard way, the outcome of which won't be pretty.

Anger Is My Middle Name

2007-09-23T23:09:00.000+05:30

People say “anger” runs in my veins,
And, I try, but, fail to differ with them;
This horrible trait of mine just can’t be tamed-
The resulting consequence always turns out to be “shame”.

For oft, I, in a fit of rage
Throw things, shattering away down on the floor
Scream, shout, yell, deafening every ear-
Till my vocal chord turns sore!
My mother watches in vain, and cries
Efforts go wasted how hard she tries
‘Coz this monster sees “red” in his eyes
As the anger inside me takes a steep rise,
No one can help, but, compromise.

For oft, I, in a rush of hot blood
Slap my girl-friend & abuse her,
Tell her our relation is off-
She can go away miserably & suffer;
Her eyes get inundated with tears,
Every time she realises her worst fear,
Though she endeavours to come closer, still near
She cannot dissolve the final solid frontier.
This beast doesn’t have a clue the pain she has to bear!

For oft, I, in a sprout of anger
Tend to break off all relations with my friends,
Behave as if I never knew they existed-
Bringing all bonds of love to a virtual end.
They give up all hope, & accept the fact with a sigh-
That I’m beyond repair-they surely can’t deny,
In despair, they bid me a final “good-bye”,
They pray to God, as their sympathy for me magnifies
As this undefeated Anger inside me will never die!

Modern Life

2007-08-27T11:09:00.000+05:30

The sky overhead, is staring with sigh-
Why, oh people, do you cloud me with smoke?
The birds are singing their shrill, sorrowful cry:
In this wonderful world, do we have to choke?

The colour of the trees has gone to gray
With the water as black as night
All the animals, hereby pray:
How long Lord, we have to have this fight?

Mother Nature, who used to hold her head
High above the horizon-
She now has nothing, but to look
At her distressed children suffering with pain;
Its better to have a life of a brook!

And who’ll emerge as the saviour of the Earth?
Or shall we be able to see the days that come?
For its ominous that for the particles-
The decline has already begun.

Wars and fights, no endless misery,
Taking the people to satiate their soul,
And after all, to analyze the summary:
It’s hard to say, “Blood has turned to coal.”

For such is the place where we stand
Holding highly our heads as high
No where any peace, no water, no sand-
Man’s responsible, you surely can’t deny!

But, still there’s a glimpse of hope
Amongst all the nightmare that rules,
Join one’s hands stay alive together,
This is no time to act like a fool!

Or else, if you refuse to do,
Then the Earth is at great peril
Visualize the massacre with your eyes,
Our sweet Earth smashed! Please don’t say goodbye.

For we desire to have a prosperous life,
To give birth to our young one;
And we know in our heart as well
That the Ice Age is really long to come!

Say It Again....

2007-08-26T23:18:00.000+05:30

I can’t believe

That we're sitting here

It’s like a dream come true

After all these years

I've been looking for love

In every possible place

Searching for an answer

In every stranger's face

I didn’t know what to do

Or where to go

But you were here all the time

You stole my heart

You opened up my eyes

Baby you changed my life

Say it again one more time

Those three little words that’ll change my life

Say it again say I love you

Say it today and tomorrow too

Say it forever

Say that you love me again

And I have been foolish

So many times

I wasn’t to careful

With this heart of mine

I had a dream

Of an honest heart

Of a full commitment

Right from the start

Someone up there

Must have heard my prayers

And somehow send you my way

I give you my heart

I give you my soul

I give you my night and day

Say it again one more time

Those three little words that’ll change my life

Say it again say I love you

Say it today and tomorrow too

Say it forever

Say that you love me again

Say that you’ll love me again

-----One of my favorite songs by "C21"-----

Bhutan

2007-08-25T23:45:00.000+05:30

(I went to Bhutan on 22nd May,1997. First, I stayed at Paro & then went to Thimpu. I was overwhelmed to see the scenic beauty & the visit left a permanent impression on my mind.)

All around mountains, soaring their heads high-
As if they are rulers of the great wide Earth;
Streams flowing down them with swift winding courses,
The green plants & shrubs fluttering from side to side.
Slowly, the sun rises with its sparkling red flames
And makes the surrounding an antique precious gem,
Where on Earth can you come across such a place?
Mother Nature displaying all her might.

The trees of the forest like pillars of rocks,
Standing firmly for a million years,
And where the sun has little effect on the moist brown soil
Experiencing the sight-it proved to be very dear.
Where the life is hanging on in the ancient times
The age old belief in powerful historic shrines;
Truly worth a lifetime’s visit-
Can’t tell if it may come again, for I’m not a seer.

The local people here, the Masalis & Scebes,
Are affectionate & caring like their mother,
They treated me with utmost respect,
I’m a far off stranger-they just don’t bother.
Though I couldn’t catch what they said
For, to learn their language-would mean bringing back the dead
The ever smiling faces, they have little to regret;
Unlike the cruel life, every man is a brother.

The deep, wide lakes with their rippling waters:
The sun’s rays gleaming like a silver glass,
The fishes playing joyfully-aware of nothing
The birds perched on the branches, singing in mass.
And all day long I sat by the shore
The desire arising to see more & more
The time elapsed by, I didn’t have a clue
Only to find its strong picture, which couldn’t easily be crushed!

Weather Link....

2007-08-22T01:44:00.000+05:30

Have you ever wondered how weather changes can affect your mood? Its as if we've an eternal linkage with changes in nature, no one can justify this bond, yet it is there for all of us to see, to feel, to experience. The pulses in our body, mind & soul are, to me, transmitted to Nature who can react accordingly, similarly, natural changes also get channelised into our mind, so that, we transform our behavior, mood, feelings to that particular change, we succumb to it.

Otherwise, what is the justification of feeling gloomy, let down, depressed on a particularly grey day or a rainy day, we tend to cry in pain, the sky also cries in sympathy with us, it hides its face in dark clouds, silently nodding in harmony with us.

But, look at us, on a sunny day, happy & full of life, the sun's shining brightly, we're in a jovial mood, everything seems to be in place, nothing can go wrong, our spirits are high, & can't be dampened by anything.

In winter, we long to meet our loved ones, from whom, we're thousands of miles apart, want to share the same feelings, want to know what is happening at their end, we feel a kind of loneliness inside oursleves which can be filled in by the advent of autumn.

Have you ever wondered or thought how our vibrations get transmitted to Nature & vice-versa? The connection created is divine, but, we're thankful for it.

A Journey By Boat

2007-08-21T14:15:00.000+05:30

(I was traveling by boat on the Bagmoti river. While journeying, I noticed some beautiful scenes which have remained in my mind since then. Also portrayed are some of my beautiful experiences. On the other side of the river is a little forest with mainly some deciduous trees.)

The weeds on the river anchoring the soil below,
No one knows how they had been sown
The black waters resemble some deadly night,
Stretching on enormously till end of sight.
Only the little boats have some lively forms-
Carrying off passengers, defying the wind & storm.

The green fields onside- all watered & tilled,
What bond have they already sealed?
The cows standing lonely like a child,
With ploughs on their back, they really look wild,
The farmers waving their hands to us all-
I could hear their siren call!

The skies above all clad with white & blue,
Black rainy weather doesn’t have a clue,
The birds chirping as they fly by;
I don’t have wings- I greatly sighed!
The clouds smiling, showing all their teeth,
Prepared for battle, like some worthy, ancient fleet!

Far along, the mountains stand in shadows
Spreading before them are eternal meadows.
The sun, with its red ball of fire-
Dominating the sky, attracting admirers,
The cold breeze making the branches creak,
One can hear the distant squirrel’s squeak.

The village women bathing in the river,
Cold water making their bare skins shiver,
Children playing with little balls & toys-
It reminded me of my old days of joy.
The busy carts carrying heavy roads to the mills
Winding their way along, up to the hills.

And as our boat rounded near the shore,
I could feel the excitement rising as before,
Stepping onto the land, I ran towards the woods-
For to me, this material world is of no good!
Thus my journey came to a close
Those exotic moments I just can’t disclose.

Understanding Myself....

2007-08-20T10:42:00.000+05:30

[Inspired by Maya Angelou's "Phenomenal Woman" & Rituparna Dhar's "Inside Me"]

Many a day I've wondered in tranquility-

Who am I? What was I meant to be?

For friends fail to understand this enigmatic me:

And decipher me to be an unknown entity.

To the world, I'm just another human being,

Born in a society, and, then set free-

To dominate the race and establish my superiority

Without any remorse-by showing great acts of cruelty;

That's what we all are striving to achieve;

Still, no one endeavours to unravel me-

Look into my eyes, touch my heart, and know me fully,

And that's the worst thing about me!

But, I'm determined to discover my true identity,

And show to all that they were wrong to believe

Sometimes, I may be caring & gentle to feel;

Next moment, a volcano may erupt & destroy everything in a killing spree-

That's the evidence of multiple personalities in me

Which everyone fears is an inborn dangerous breed,

So, people seldom approach, but, out of necessity

Lest they get infected with this dreaded disease.

On I carry like a lonely bee-

In search of that divine destiny.

Still, no one endeavours to unravel me-

Hold my hand, kiss my lips, and say "Yes, I will be"

And that's the worst thing about me!

Life has chosen to be shrouded in mystery,

Though it's a blessing I have taken complacently,

No one dares to know me, no one dares to know me-

It's the truth I found out as serendipity-

And that's the best thing about me,

Surely, that's the best thing about me!

The Last Words

2007-08-19T01:11:00.000+05:30

"I don't love you"

That's what she said,

And went away,

Out into the night-

Out of sight,

Leaving me helplessly alone,

Alone in my home,

To think of the past;

And forget the trust-

I had on her,

And start my life all over again,

After suffering the immense pain;

Which will never be the same.

Now, as I watch her,

Going out with 'nother boy,

Looking "pseudo" happy,

My insides scream in agony-

For this grand felony,

Friends try to console me

'Coz they don't know the tranquility,

The huge emptyness,

She has left her trace-

Carved into my heart,

Every time it ejects a pulse,

I feel a sudden impulse;

Like an ever-increasing curse!

"What did you get out of this?"

Someday, I wanna ask her,

In establishing your aim-

Of tearing apart two souls,

With the heart of coal,

I could've given you so much,

And, in return, felt your gentle touch

Can you swear you're fine?

By just not being mine?

The answer is negative;

I know you better than you do,

Someday, you'll realise it's true-

I'll remain yours through & through.

Regrets Of Partition

2007-08-17T21:18:00.000+05:30

(The Kishenganga River is situated in the Line of Control between India & Pakistan. It flows through the Teetwal sector of Kupwara, Seamari, Katbham, Beary, Khadaama villages & the Uri sector of Baramulla & several other villages like Basgrain, Charunda, Kamalkot, Silikot, Hatlanga, Nambla & Batgrain. The river is also called Haji Peer Nallah.)

The people from this side cry to those of the other side-
Oh! Heavens! God, when do we get united?
For many decades in their exiles alone,
And the burning anger has slowly grown,
Bravery mocks people- look how they died;
But still the torch of friendship hasn’t been ignited!

Out on the two banks of the (Kishenganga) river,
Thousands of villagers have lost their kins:
Who strolled on the border & never returned-
And still they loiter along to continue their hunt;
Military hostility makes them shiver
To strangle innocents, doesn’t hurt their skins!

But once in a year they get to see each other’s face
To spend valuable time amongst the ones they love,
Their wishes unnurtured in their minds
For the scoundrels don’t understand any peaceful kinds,
They regret to remember the past golden days-
Have they failed to satisfy the Good Lord above?

They’ve have felt the misery of the (Kargil) war with their senses,
Thousands of martyrs sacrificing for their motherland;
The pain to see their “once-called” neighbors
Indulging themselves into alienating behaviors:
But, what were the results of these fateful coincidences?
When the smartest thing to do was lend a friendly hand!

And though the two chiefs have taken to be allies once again,
The sudden inhuman attacks still continue to rule,
The local residents are hopeless to know-
Their re-union across the “River Of Sorrow”,
Are not confirmed yet- with no material gain;
With racial, advanced minds, we’re acting like fools!

Friend

2007-08-17T21:06:00.001+05:30

When you are in a sea of difficulty-
With just a rock to save your life,
When the forces are too harsh to bear:
With a hand to lead you to strife,
When you are full of pain & agony,
A heart will make your dreams come true
When you are losing all your hopes-
A friend will guide you through.

When you need someone to heal,
A friend will give you all the love.
When you are praying to the good Lord,
You know you have a blessing sent from above.
Friendship is a relation, strong & touching,
This, if broken, can never mend:
You can count upon only those,
Who will be there for you till the end!

Broken Love

2007-08-17T20:38:00.000+05:30

(This poem is written in memory of a girl, whom, I so dearly loved & who left me alone in this world to suffer this inhuman life in pain. I hope wherever you are, live happily. I couldn’t have you in this life. Your ill-fated lover.)

The one whom I so dearly loved,
Left me to suffer in pain,
She lingers in my mind still-
How hard I try in vain!
I remember the day when I first met her
She was determined to ignore me;
I made up my mind to be her boy:
To impress the heart with sweet courtesy.

I would spy on her from every angle,
Each time the love bursting out,
The first glance the maiden gave me
Ended my long-time love drought!
The Eternal Love had its victory
Making all infatuations go to end;
We made love nights & days-
Surely, she was my own God-send!

Everyone blessed us with endless love,
Our bond was stronger than steel,
All of them saw with gleaming eyes
But, no one could unearth what we feel.
We were there together through trying times
The would-be husband & wife;
I never knew the clandestine truth-
The insolent, torturous laugh of life!

She died of aneurysm, slowly in agony,
I saw her horrified, nothing to do
And the last words were so dangerous-
My sweet angel saying “I Love You!”

An Unheard Plea

2007-08-17T14:54:00.001+05:30

Let the rivers flow as they want to be
Let the flowers shine in their brightest glow
Let the crippled, caged bird be set free
To its heart’s content, wherever it wants to go.
A daily thought, a silent prayer,
A constant wish that will bring them near;
To us, establish the bond of love & friendship-
Only we will smile seeing the fruits they’ll reap.

Let the Sun shine in the brightest sky
Let the clouds roam around like carefree children
Let the water transform into vapors that fly
Up, and produce the eternal, torrential rain
These things are only for us to feel
Which can’t be replaced by worthless, human skills
To us, establish the bond that’s so pure-
For our children-their future to be secure.

Let the animals rule the forests-their home
Let the trees stand with all their might
Let the news spread-a fact to be known
To reduce, what is mankind’s unsustainable fight.
Deforestation- a word that is so close to our heart
Eliminating ever green stress part by part
To us, establish the bond of affection & sincerity
That’ll prove fatal for our breathing necessity.

Let the villages stay with their uncivilized ways
Let the cities inundate with some inner warmth
Let the war terminate-endless for days
Let each lucky man have his share of crumb!
Let us not annihilate ourselves in a quest to maim
Let us not engage in this bloody, inhuman game
Let the cool air blow- soothe the souls, heal & care
Let us not, anymore, interfere with Nature.

The Sunset Sky

2007-08-17T14:47:00.000+05:30

The sunset sky, stretched far & wide
Radiant with the glow of the setting sun;
So romantic & charming.
Hand-in-hand came two young lovers,
Locking lips passionately, cuddling each other,
And muttered those fragrant words-
“I love you darling!”

The terrible sounds of the explosive war-hounds
Intimidating the people to die
Heaps of cadavers laid down in tiers,
Kill & be killed-
That’s the wish to be fulfilled
Ridiculing the value of life;
For, war is an immortal fear!

Mighty air-raids, adding to the number of dead
Young soldiers obliterated in a minute,
Mercilessly slaughtered by the nation;
Aircrafts crashing to ground with such deadly speeds-
Only shows the amount of insurmountable greed
Man has inflicted upon himself,
Wiping out the possibility of a next generation.

But, the hapless martyrs still open their fires
And take it to their hearts liking,
To lay down with a defeated sigh-
The blood-stained clouds mourn the closing of blossoming flowers,
And offer their prayers with soul-touching showers,
Uniting with the mothers’ cry-
That’s the legend of the sunset sky!

The Road Not Taken

2007-08-17T03:07:00.000+05:30

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

----Robert Frost----

To Kolkata....With Love

2007-08-15T23:40:00.000+05:30

Kolkata, my home city, innumerable pictures, incidents, stories, people inundate my mind when I think of this simple word: Kolkata, the 10th largest city in the world, The City of Joy, Kolkata, the Pride of Bengal & the bengalis.

We only realise the sharp contrast in our life & ways of living when we leave Kolkata & settle somewhere else like I migrated south to Bangalore on the hope of getting rid of the city & its immense dirtyness, its hollow political parties, its horrifying climate, its water-logged streets, the disputable "bandhs", but, the city runs in my veins. My soul is also a component of all the souls who remain binded to the city inspite of staying thousands of miles away & long to come back home, their motherland to the open arms of their loved ones.

Now, there are plenty of reasons for which I like Kolkata, & there are another plenty for which I abhor it, but, when you are located outside the city, that may be even 50 miles away, you'll feel a craving for it which will drive you back, as is always my case, the likes will always surpass your dislikes, your hatred, it comes from within, no one can deny.

The city has got mixed in my genes so complicatedly that I won't be able to remove it, wherever I might be, whether in New York or Sydney, Moscow or Cape Town or Brasilia, always, and I mean always, I'll find my true happiness, my true purpose of living, my true love, true respect, true identity here only in Kolkata.

To start with, if you have been brought up in Kolkata, it would be near impossible for you to take in the food of outside states, much less southern states, where they cook atrocious dishes.
For example: One of their favorites is curd rice, which is ok with me, but, the thing becomes disgusting when they decorate it with all kinds of greenish leaves including coriander, some I don't even know what they are, instead of the item being sweet, it tastes salty, God knows what they put. Some people say they like idlis, dhosas etc, I would like to ask them to come down here & have a taste of the food where the delicacy originated, we've termed "sambars" as "rainbow colored waters" they are so ugly to eat. Kolkata is much more superior & hospitable in the food department, at least one can eat to his heart's content & not wander around, half-starved with bundles of money in his pocket, trying to find a place where he/she can have a respectable lunch or dinner.

Transportation is immensely costly in this part of the country, with the lowest fare being Rs.12 in an autorickshaw, which is the most common transport vehicle. City Taxis charge a minimum of 50 Rupees. In Kolkata, one can travel 10 kms by paying a meagre amount of 5 or 6 Rupees.

The language is another barrier which keeps foreigners off. Majority don't know Hindi, the national language, if they know also, they refrain from using it, preferring their local dialect, thus putting non-Karnataka people in a state of confusion & bother. I still haven't understood what pride they get in not speaking Hindi, are they trying to prove a point by neglecting our national language?

Another thing I have learnt in the past 1 year is that these people have a huge dislike for people from the Northern states. They like to be partial towards the localites. Nowhere in Kolkata, I think, you'd find such kind of partial behavior & attitude.

The only postive things about Bangalore: a good climate, a good working atmospehere, you can earn gargantuous amounts of money (though that hardly matters) because Kolkata is also catching up.

These minor advantages fade in comparison to the immense hospitable environment offered by The City Of Joy. I'm not saying this because I've lived in Kolkata for 19 years, you can ask anyone, I think the majority will choose Kolkata over Bangalore, and may be most cities of India unless they are horribly thirsty to become rich overnight.

Kolkata....you really are great. Miss you dearly, your streets, shops, the Pujas, food, in short everything, my family, my friends, my school, those by-gone days, and lastly, that one special person, I love so much, my girl-friend.

----Somnath (08/15/2007)

All That You Mean To Me....

2007-08-11T22:26:00.000+05:30

Dedicated to AC.....

There was a day when my whole world was grey,
Shattered & bruised like a wounded beast,
Death haunted me as if I was an eternal prey,
Life was shrouded in a cloud of mist.

Then, like an angel, you came down from Heaven’s skies,
And, gave me the power to fight the dark away;
Decorated my world with the amenities of Paradise:
Whatever the needs-you always had the last say!

You gave me all the love I was craving for,
You held me closely & smothered me in your arms-
A baby being nourished by his ever-loving mother-
Never failing to impress me with your overwhelming charm.

I fell in love with this guardian angel of mine;
Never ever realising that she would leave me alone,
On her lap I lay, keeping no count of time,
Always under the illusion that she would be my own……

What Is It That We Really Want??

2007-08-01T14:01:00.000+05:30

Well, all of us, from our childhoods, have aims, dreams to become a great person in life. Some want to be doctors, some engineers, some just want to be rich, some want a house, a car, or a place of their own. We all strive hard towards achieving, at least, many of us do. But, what then? When we finally have reached the top? When we've conquered all? Our desires gradually increase, a person who wanted a room, & now has it, now wants a house of his own, then, a palace, then, a kingdom, & all the time his greed is growing, & he doesn't even realise that it becomes increasingly hard for him to control these all. When the kingdom falls, he is left with nothing, not even a room of his own, so he understands that he was better off with a room.

Many, most of us have this habit of trying to capture what is beyond our reach, we can't remain content with what we've at the present. That creates the difference between the rich & the poor, because the poor also has his demands which are similar to that of the rich. This creates tension, a small boy who goes to play in a field, finds that his friends display expensive sports gear, but, he can't afford it, because he isn't rich enough, but, still he'll force his father to buy it for him, that's when the decline sets in.

And I primarily blame modern life & changing life styles for these things. With ever increasing house hold incomes, our demands are increasing so that we want to possess every article that exists. I'm not denying that money is un-important, but, it should be used in a good way, not lavishly on things that we know we could have been alright if we didn't have them too.

A Burning Desire

2007-07-11T15:23:00.000+05:30

(I was going to Kalyani by the 10:45 p.m. train. I was the only one in my compartment. Due to some technical problems, the lights were out.)

Fluttering in the wind like a nightingale,
Black hair covering the face,
Sweet sound of the hand full of bangles-
I was really in some burning craze!
Slowly, she came over & sat beside me;
Her rapid breathing warming the chill cold air
I saw her- she was so gorgeous to see:
My heart told me that I was having an affair!
Sparkling blue eyes with pale red lips,
Shining white teeth like some flower at bloom,
Her cold hand touched me, gave me the creeps
But, I was destined to become her groom.
She began to sing a melodious tone
I was really falling into a dream;
I knew her- was she my own?
All around darkness with a little yellow beam.
And I kept my head on her lap & slept
For hours which seemed endless nights,
But, then the lights came & clearly swept-
She just vanished out of sight!
And now, when I think of her,
My soul believes she was playing a game,
And as if she wants to whisper:

My burning desire- what is her name?

Death-The Gift Of God

2007-07-10T21:02:00.000+05:30

Oh lovely people, why are you afraid to die?
After your owns are gone, why do relentlessly cry?
For to you, it is the end of days
So, you don’t want to have any parting ways.
You pray to God to save their lives-
So that, they may be able to continue the strife.
You think of death as a shadow of dark
Which, if affects anyone, will leave no mark!
But, think of those men who sacrificed their soul,
Defeating death, to achieve their goal,
They showed us the light, to follow their road,
They taught us to live, to fight with our sword.
They told us to be brave, to have faith in the Lord-
After all, death is only “A Gift Of God!”

I Had A Dream......

2007-07-10T02:58:00.000+05:30

From my early childhood, I had many dreams & I wanted all of them to come true. I dreamt that I was a Cardiologist with surplus money to last me through the entire lifetime. I should have a decorated lovely apartment in Bradenton, Florida with 2 luxury cars- one, a sports car & the other, a saloon car, a sedan or coupe. A loving darling of a wife, 2 kids, my parents would fill up my near-to-perfect life. Famous, as I naturally would be, people should gape at me whenever I pass them or appear in interviews or product-promotions. But, I didn’t intend to headline the covers of all magazines or newspapers, because in a way, I fear publicity & celebrity status.
I was very open to the idea of having kids, in this era of hush-hush life, speeding like nuclear machines through the days & nights, no time to enjoy a couple of weeks in Hawaii or Paris or Amsterdam. But, that didn’t mean I would indulge in sexual acts with any girl until I was happily married. Actually, I was a little shy from pre-marriage physical relationships. It always, according to me, upsets your morals, you don’t know for certain she would be your life partner, & so in a way, you’re cheating on her. Needles to say, I had crushes on many a girl, including celebrities like Tennis icon Russian bombshell Maria Sharapova, who lived in my neighborhood & Emma Watson, the witty Harry Potter heroine.
Standing at 1.83 meters & weighing 79 Kgs, I was compared to a midget, in front of those tall hunky Americans who grow up like grapevines.

I, an Indian, was born in Marion, Ohio, a small town 50 kilometers from the capital city of Columbus. My father was the GM of a multi-national company, my mother, a housewife. When I was 6, we’d to shift to Rochester, New York & then at 12, we finally settled in Bradenton, the exquisitely embellished town in Florida. I was sent to a boarding school, not much to my liking, & people seldom used to talk to me because of my oppressive nature. Away from home, I felt like a freak amidst these morons. That changed, once I came across Maria Sharapova, who unlike today was a little girl, timid & afraid, concealing herself in the superlative beauty radiating from her body. It was love at first sight. Whenever, I returned home on vacation, most of time was dedicated to her. She, a Russian, couldn’t speak English very well, so; instead I’d to learn the Russian language to impress upon her. My mind would toil for hours striving to grasp the basics of the language, but my intense concentration & zeal paid off splendid results. I would stare at her, a lasting look that foretold the immense feelings I’d for her. When, at 15, I proposed, she turned me down immediately, so, I threatened to commit suicide. The result, a criminal record against me. Then, after that, it was a topsy-turvy roller coaster ride, & I never got to take her in my arms.
***********************************

Now, at 41, the old memories inundate back to my battered mind. Though I accomplished my task & aim to be a Cardiologist by graduating from Harvard Medical College in Cambridge, Massachusetts & then post-graduating from Columbia University, I’ve literally forgotten the meaning of a happy life.
Married to Anjali, the only daughter of an NRI for the past 15 years, my body has been reduced to a hapless bloodied mess. Screams & yells are a part of her nature, & she can’t stay without them, the object of victimization being her husband. Fatigued from my day’s work, when I return to my lair to obtain some rest, hell sets in.
“Why have you kept your shoes there on the right-side corner?” “Did you bring me a nice expensive diamond ring for Valentine’s day?” “When will you take me out to the Bistriz?” Man, her whole list of interrogation seems unending. And each time, I do something right, she accuses me of the wrongs connected to it.
I owned three cars, a BMW, a Jaguar, & a Mercedes. Though I drive myself; for my sons, & my pesky wife, I was forced to appoint a chauffeur. It seems “The Ghost Of Nightmares” haunts me. The other day, I was threatened to have my car thrashed, if I fail to save a dying patient, who had less than 0.1% chance of surviving. He had cardiovascular melanoma, a cerebral haemorhhage & a renal failure.
“How can I save him?” I protested, “I can only prolong his agony by putting him under life-supporting system.”
They wouldn’t let me do that, so he died & now I have my Mercedes mutilated beyond recognition. A case in court.

Now, I come to my sons. I am worried to death about them. Raj & Raman. 14 & 12. Both of them are disobedient & unforgiving. If I scold them, as I definitely should, they take vengeance.
Raj was charged of, oh my god, of raping a classmate, because she refused to be his date, & has been detained under custody & would not be granted bail so easily for he is a non-American. Another case in court.
As for Raman, he is as vindictive as his elder brother.
Last Thursday, I received a call in my cell to cough up $250,000 as ransom for his release. I was devastated. Not because of the money, but, thinking of his safety like an ideal father. I paid the money clandestinely as was advised & brought him back. Anjali didn’t think I had to worry so much for a mere thing like that. That Sunday, when Raman was out, a SMS came in his cell asking him to take his share of $50,000 of his father’s money. Imagine, a 12-year-old boy framing his own kidnapping! When I confronted him, he narrated the whole planning, stating that he had to do it because I wouldn’t increase his weekly allowance to $1,000 form $250.
My wife, somehow, found out that I had a crush on Maria Sharapova & exaggerated the fact to a point of intolerance.
“I’m so loyal to you. How could you ever think of doing this to me?” she bellowed.
I tried to explain, it was a pre-marital affair, but it proved a futile attempt. The next day, I discovered her boyfriend, she kissing him passionately in public.
I filed for a divorce. But, she demanded $1 million & our two sons, a car, & 50% of our house, plus monthly payment of $25,000 to her bank account!
I have also been asked to resign from my post as senior Cardiologist by the Hospital Authorities for my recent bad publicity.

So, here I am now, looking 70, worn down by the constant nagging questions of journalists & exhausted of seeing the newspapers writing juicy shocking articles about my personal life.

I also heard that Maria Sharapova has married her fellow tennis star Marat Safin, & has moved to Sochi, a resort town in the Black Sea region of Russia.

I pray to go to Heaven, to stop this tyranny, but I think the Lord has also conspired against me to punish me in Heaven.
Who says, “Life is a gift of God?”
To me, “LIFE IS A HELLISH EXPERIENCE WITH MENTAL & PHYSICAL
TRAUMA.”

A Patchwork Quilt

2007-07-10T01:46:00.000+05:30

Made up of memories of you
Bound together with love
Sewn with your selfless giving
Threads made of grace
Lined with thoughts of you.

Squares made of days gone by
Days we spent together
Each with a new design
Of the things that we shared.

Blanket stitches of our hearts
Mingle the squares in rows
Nothing can tear it apart
Not fire or flood or anything close.

It’s kept in a place of my keeping
The treasure chest of my heart
Wrapped in tissue of forgiveness
And tied with ribbons of love.

The colors all speak of you
Pinks and Blues and other hues
Sewn tight and fastened together
With hope and faith and truth.
------------------------------------>Chery Brand

When You Are An Angel

2007-07-09T22:41:00.000+05:30

(Dedicated to the girl with whom I fell in love at first sight. She, I think, never realized my true feelings for her, so, on I carry with this lifelong struggle in search of the soul mate, though I know in the bottom of my heart, that she, and no other, is the one for me.)

The day you walked into my life,
With the air of a depressed one,
Bespectacled, hair kissing the face
I couldn’t resist, but, dear lady, to love you.
It seems hazy the extent of my excruciating strife;
To let your admirer run down-
This I promise, I won’t ever give up the chase
Even if the grisly darkness conceals the truth!

Loitering in the door of your heart-
Like a nomad amidst the great sands;
Trying to seize that little gleam of light,
That has kept me from extirpating my soul!
Imagining that you two will never part
Never be able to leave his hands
Oh, lovely angel, please stop these chagrined nights,
So that I can achieve my ultimate goal!

Efforts go wasted to impress your mind,
My maiden never takes to the inward eye,
Friends advise me to resign in the war-
And look for someone who realizes my love.
A cloud of awe encircles your enigmatic kind-
As I unravel the mystery with a tragic sigh;
Looks like the door of horizon is still kept ajar:
But, the path leading to it has been disturbed!

Chaffing me with all their wits,
Failing to understand my delicate interiors,
Friends of mine are none that I need,
Only you will give me a complete cure.
Clasping both hands in powerful fists,
Sacrificing everything to the Divine Superior,
Torturing the veins in order to bleed-
Only to prove that my love is pure!

Forever the days go on like an eternal stream;
The eyes watch someone rejoicing this unfortunate’s place;
Slowly, it seems, you’re drifting away from my shadow
Belated sorrows endeavoring to keep at far the pain,
The desire to hold you in my arms, will remain carved in a dream-
With no one to rectify my hapless bloodied mess,
And as I see the swift closing of your window,
The last ounce of breath vaporises in the rain!

Anuranan: Review

2007-07-09T15:15:00.000+05:30

Hmm, after much "yes" & "no", much hype, much speculation, I finally got to watch this movie, on the sole request & pressure of my good friend Rituparna (not the actress in this movie, mind it).

First time, being a critic, so, please don't be too harsh on my judgments, though I'll hardly stress on the inner aspects of the movie.

The 1st part, based on London, UK, portrays Rahul Bose & Rituparna Sengupta to be a happily married couple, childless, as Rituparna has had a miss-carriage, and, can't enjoy motherhood biologically, but, the reason is vague, nevertheless, doesn't draw too much attention to it. Rahul gets a promotion & transferred Kolkata, where, he'll supervise a construction project on the behalf of the company.

Part 2: Kolkata.....

Now, comes, the real part, as we are shown that Rahul & Rituparna get to know another couple, played by Rajat Kapur & his wife, Raima Sen, Rajat already being familiar to the former couple, as they'd previously met in London.

Circumstances lead to us getting the picture as the 2 families becoming close. Then, one day, Mr.Rahul Chatterjee has to go to Bagdogra. While Rajat is away, Raima, in a mood to overcome the melancholy, reaches Bagdogra herself without the knowledge of her husband.

She & Rahul stay in the same hotel (or whatever it is), not, in the same room, of course (Bengali movies are too predictable on that area), anyways, next day, Raima finds Rahul dead & the whole blame falls on her, she falls victim to misjudgments (which is quite natural) & people treating her as if she's a well, not, a prostritute, but, something close to that. Her husband shuns her too, she tries to commit suicide by slashing her wrists, fails miserably, lands up in a hospital, but, Rituparna forgives her, as she is the only person who could truly understand her inner soul, unlike the others.

Part 3: Mwahaha, this is the best part (that's entirely to me):

Screenplay, at times, is horribly bad, songs aren't too touching, completely at a loss to magnify the intensity.

I may be deaf...but, there's a scene in which the word spoken is "ashoon ashoon", I heard, well, forget it. Lol.....

I thought Rituparna's voice sounded a little too squeaky at times, just like a bird chirping, thank God, I don't have to face her in real life, otherwise, there would have serious problems with my tympanic membrane (its a hearing apparatus in our ears for all you non-biology readers).

Every character in this movie uses a Motorola mobile (may be, Motorola's sells have plunged down, so, this is their new strategy, don't know for sure, have to investigate into the matter), also, same is for Reebok, I think Rahul & Rajat have been made the brand ambassadors (kindly check in http://www.google.com/).

Oh....did I forget this? How the hell could I?? Damn me!!

The very last scene, imagine this, Rahul Bose meditating on the top of some goddmaned mountain.
My interpretation (surely, you can't deny this): He fooled everyone by framing his own death, I think, lost interest in his wife, so, decided to shift base into the Himalayas & become a sage.
An enitirely new concept for people who wanna avoid the hassles of divorce. (Lmao).

So, my advice, to all those facing marital problems (without the slightest ray of light of that being mended), try it out, but, you can choose some other place, because, otherwise, there would be too many "false" sages in the Himalayas..hahahaha.

Anyways, I'd an absoultely blasting & rocking time with Rituparna & Rupsha (at one point of time, Ritu was so frustrated & angry with my continuous jokes & "live commentaries", as I like to call them, she was threatening to throw me out of the hall by "reporting abuse", obviously which means she's been doing a lot of Orkut recently).

It was the 1st Bengali movie I watched after more than a decade, I liked it, would give it a umm....6 out of 10.

Sam....

Ragging, A Form of Entertainment...But, Is It??

2007-07-09T14:49:00.001+05:30

We all get goosebumps on our first day to college. Not only because it is a completely different environment, but, also the question of ragging looms on our minds. Ragging-the term has 2 variable meanings, one, it seems to be a kind of fun, entertainment to the seniors, & two, it is embarrasment & misery for the freshers.

Ragging has been expanded to mean different forms. Simple forms are ok with most of the new comers, which include giving your introduction in front of the seniors in a particular format or doing many funny things like standing on a foot & dance, imitate someone very rudely, propose to a girl in front of everyone, answering non-sense, but, nevertheless, intellectual questions etc.
Harmful forms are the most dangerous. They often go hand-in-hand with torturing the juniors. For instance, someone would be asked to go naked in the public & run around the whole college campus with suppose a banner saying, "Hey, look everyone, I'm naked. Isn't it lovely?" This causes laughter among the "bosses" who are forcing the poor students to do these things, never ever realising how much they are embarrassing & hurting them. In some colleges, especially where they provide hostels, ragging takes a new form, beating up the students like you beat a thief, no one knows why, but, the tradition goes on. Beating often comprises of hitting with iron rods also, in many cases, severe injuries have been caused. Sometimes, also, meritorious students are forced to take drugs & this ruin their life.

People who are against ragging are often punished by the seniors, that is 3rd or 4th years. Some days ago, a professor was murdered for this same purpose, because he opposed to the idea of ragging. Deaths also occur, for example, a student was thrown off the roof for not obeying the orders. Suicide cases are innumerable, where new-comers who are very sensitive & not too tough interirly, can't bear the pain & decide to end their lives.

Now, I'm not against ragging, which as I suggested, if done in the harmless format, is alright, what I'm against is the barbarism invilved with it, where the freshers are treated like wild animals. So, isn't it time for all of us to voice our protest, because, who knows, some day, our children might also become victims of this cruel practice.

When You Feel That Life Can Offer You No More.....

2007-07-09T14:43:00.000+05:30

Every person has a bad patch in his life, when he is at his lowest. But, he has to overcome it & be happy. People around him have to convince him that there's a lot to live, a lot to see, for life's too short to enjoy all the wonders of the world. Only that can boost his confidence. After he has gone through that kind of phase, again the sun shines on him & he'll be happy.

Its precisely that kind of a day I'm having, from the time I woke up, I am feeling pretty low. Its as if, someone inside me is telling me, pleading me to stop this all & end my life. No one is there to console me, no one is there to help me out, no one is there to give me love & say, "darling I care for you." I can't take it anymore, after all, another year, another 365 days, it seems a lot to me, I have lost the purpose of living, what for am I living in this world? Do I have something to contribute, maybe no, thats why God is asking me to come to him. Nothing is alright now, I see everyday rejoicing, everybody having a blast, but, I can't feel the vibration, I can't feel the energy, it must be true, I have nothing to give, so the best way is to die, die a lonely death with no one by my side. Death seems to be the only solution to my problems.

I don't know if I'm ever going to get out of this phase, if I'll ever be able to resume my normal life again, or maybe, this is the very last article I'm writing, after that, darkness will engulf me like a blanket...if only I knew, but, no, I don't, only time can tell......

Memories

2007-07-07T01:58:00.000+05:30

Listening to the song "Beete Lamhein" from the movie "Train", nice song, infact, a fantastic romantic sad song which has really touched my heart. This is the first time I'm listening to this song intently, with a free mind, on the previous occassions, I'd only listened to it for the sake of keeping myself occupied with something.

As I sit in front of my pc & hear the words, each word seems to register a tone in my mind, it delves back to some past memories, something I'm quite familiar with. I can't help but stop the tears that form in the corner of my eyes, on the other hand, the song seems to be so soothing to the soul that I can't turn it off also.

Finally, I'm flooded with tears, may be that was the best way to express myself at this point. No one is hear to console me. Kay Kay's melodies are like nails stabbing my heart, as I recall the days I spent with her, those school days, those days which I'll carry on with me till the day I perish, those days that changed me....that taught me how to love, how to care for someone.
But, I wasn't destined to her love, I wasn't entitled to "be loved" in return.

So, I conclude with:

Aaj bhi jab woh pal mujhko yaad aate hai......

Aankho mein aansoon apne aap aa jaate hai (My addition)