Un-named #02

Everything is in place
Yet, nothing seems to be there;
I feel trapped in an unknown land
Longing for someone I can't see,
Longing for someone I love, Yet
never met nor touched.
A shadowy face flashes before my eyes,
A ghostly silhoutette against the night
I grope in the dark, Trying to
find answers to unasked questions
Friends, family, life, everything is still the same
But, I am different,
In pursuit of my unknown love....

Empty

The empty ache of loneliness
A hollow emptiness
A desperate want
For their caress
To fill the void
Left by invisibility
Butterflies flutter
When you meet their gaze
Knees weaken, just for a second
As they brush past
Then light-headedness
When you smell their scent
Then laterIn the quiet of the night
The empty void of want
Loins aching for them
Then hollow emptiness
The constant companion
The loneliness
Of unrequited love

----Anonymous----

Destiny

He rushed into the house,
And hugged his mother with a ferocious intensity,
And said, "I'm in love"
"Yes, I'm in love", as if
he himself wanted to question its validity
His mother eyes sparkled in a questioning look
"She's Leresa,
and she is the Goddess sent from above."
His mother was happy for him,
After all these years, he'd finally found his girl
Now, it was time for the happiness to commence
She immediately sent for the lovely lass,
A beauty that must be equal to the glowing pearl, who
had the power to overwhelm her boy's heart;
And destined to become one of the richest princesses.


The figure stood facing her,
Her black manes overflowing on both sides,
"She's definitely a sight to behold",
thought the overjoyed mom,
"Tell me, oh dear sweetheart, do you really love my son?"
The girl was taken aback, she staggered away a little,
And slowly replied, "No, I never loved him"-
An answer which sent a million arrows
through the mother's heart
Shattered it to pieces, tore it apart,
But, came the faint reply, "He loves you so much..."
The girl shook her head as a sign of disagreement, and said,
"I don't love him, I can't love him"
And then her face became all plain and grim
Giving a tragic end to this transient episode.


The mother knew that the girl was poor,
Her father was ill and on Death's door,
So, she offered help:
"I'll pay you for your father's expenses
And in return, you have to pretend
that you're in love with my son"
Leresa looked aghast, shocked at the woman's heartlessness,
Yet, to save him, she didn't have any other choice
And had to agree to her mind's silent noise
As tears rolled down her rosy cheeks.



So, they were married in a week,
A happy couple who was blessed by the whole town
They honeymooned in the Family Villa in a little island
And to the world, they seemed
the greatest lovers in History to be written down
The boy was filled with pride; he was the luckiest person on Earth
When he looked at the majestically curved face,
And lost himself in those serene blue hypnotising eyes.
The mother was ecstatic in seeing her son smiling,
What she couldn't see was the girl's silent mourning,
It didn't matter to her, coz,
she didn't care for Leresa's feelings,
She was a winner, which was all, she wasn't a human being
And yet, she'd conquered the thing called "Love".


Then, tragedy struck one day,
The girl's father lay dead on his bed,
Silent as night, still like stone
Sadly, there was no-one for him to mourn,
Only her daughter at his bed-side,
For people despise poverty.
To the girl, the deal had ended,
There was no need to return to the "airy" cage,
So, she took shelter in her lover's house
The next day, the boy saw them-
Passionately holding & kissing each other,
Through their open door;
He wished them luck secretly as he stormed
through his palace sobbing,
The next day, they found him in a grisly state-
Wrist-cut, demented, lifeless on the floor....

The Christmas Poem

Christmas is the time when everybody cheers,
All the religions- in both the hemispheres,
As all the rich & poor forget their fears
And celebrate the festive occasion with food, clothes & beer.
This is the time when all foes unite,
A universal brotherhood overcomes every fight;
Darkness fades away, prevails only light
Truly it can only be a God’s might!
The follower of Christ in every part,
On this festive day, can’t stay apart-
This a time for friendship, no time to hurt,
Its all the preparations for a brand new start.
The poor families who work everyday
But, now they are happy & gay
For only one day, their happiness stays,
What they do is only pray, pray & pray.
In India also, the joy is no less,
And you can see the spirit in everyone’s face;
Though the Hindus are more than the Christian race:
The epics are lost & Jesus has taken their place!
I also have quite a nice time,
With all my friends till half past nine
Help all the needy in every single line:
Its only my wish- they would’ve a jolly good time.

Remember Me

Do not shed tears when I have gone
but smile instead because I have lived.

Do not shut your eyes and pray to God that I’ll come back
but open your eyes and see all that I have left behind.

I know your heart will be empty because you cannot see me
but still I want you to be full of the love we shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live only for yesterday
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of what happened
between us yesterday.

You can remember me and grieve that I have gone
or you can cherish my memory and let it live on.

You can cry and lose yourself become distraught
and turn your back on the world
or you can do what I want - smile, wipe away the tears,
learn to love again and go on.

*I can't go on. I must go on. I'll go on.

----David Harkins----

Un-named #01

My friends ask me, 'Why did you? '

An answer demanded, to which I've no clue,

Realise it is futile to struggle on,

The only term which can describe me is 'gone'.

I wordlessly fade away in tears,

My soul has been overshadowed with fears;

Only memories in my heart I can keep,

Still there're many more miles to go before I sleep!

Taare Zameen Par: Review

First of all, what I really liked about this movie is the simplicity in acting, none of the actors/actresses tried to act out of their skins.

The film's hero, Darsheel Safary, is a talented boy, no doubt, his expressions, acting really portray the work of a professional.

The film starts with Ishaan Avasti (Darsheel Safary) being dragged into his school bus after school as he was busy catching fishes from the drain. The boy comes home, and displays a childish tendency to disobey his mother's orders & when being questioned about the exam results, he diverts his attention to other works (coz he has got 2/25 in some paper) & he is ashamed of the fact. The story glitters on as we see our hero bunking school & enjoying his day outside, a symptom that he is someone special, not like the ordinary boys who follow the die hard schedule of school life. He sees the world from a different perspective, he dwells in his own world, animating simple objects into something playful. His problem: he commits spelling mistakes & he seems to have an odium for studies, the sole reason he is being sent to a boarding school (so that he can pick up his self).

The strict discipline maintained there also don't help as teachers mock him & scold him, humiliating the child's soul & obliterate's his self confidence.

Enter Ram Shankar Nikumbh (Aamir Khan) as the art teacher, who, soon understands the pattern of mistakes done by Ishaan & visits his home, where he is shown the child's earlier works, and much to his surprise, he learns that Ishaan loves to draw, a fact which shocks him as the latter refused to draw when asked generously by him. He experiences the boy's creations & even understands his internal turmoil when he sees the dreaded notebook where the same drawing is drawn, father, mother, elder son & younger son, the last fading away from the family with each turning of the page. He identifies this problem of Ishaan as dyslexia, in which the child has is impaired & can't distinguish among letters, sounds, numbers etc.

He takes it upon himself to improve Ishaan's ability to cope with the other "normal" students and at last, his hidden talent is recognised by all, when he wins the drawing competition organised by Nikumbh, proving that its love which can heal all disorders, not scoldings & strict discipline.

Rating: 8/10

Director's Note

P.S. Enjoy the special background music, "Kholo Kholo" from this film.

From The Eyes Of A Litter

(Although “litter” means “rubbish things, garbage” etc, here I’ve used it in the context of a human being )

As the dawn breaks in beckoning a whole new day,
A shackled life searches for a way to exist,
The eternal firmament, seems, but a dusk of gray,
The soothing air, just a demented, grisly mist.
Sprouting of green leaves never happen in my life;
To imagine of tomorrow, hurts like one beastly pointed knife!

Lying by the side of the roads, inhaling dusty smokes,
With just a shattered gown to warm the soul,
These eyes gaze at speeding cars & busy people-my only hopes,
As I prepare myself for another battle, holding the blessed bowl.
Spits, abuses & awkward stares will be hurled at me,
Yet, I cannot, but plead with clasped hands, help this rusted body.

Sometimes a note, sometimes a clinking coin enriches my pot,
Sometimes a vicious kick leaves an agonizing black spot;
This has been my life through all these years & more,
As I’ve experienced countless internal uproars.
My identity is not a human, but a beggar,
And though you say, “I care for you”, you’ll despise me forever.

Immobile

Empty spaces feel me from inside

Like a large vacuole engulfing its prey

I feel a minute tinge of pain, running down my spine

I feel light, I experience something divine

Black shadows encircle me, Communicating

with my soul, beckoning it to interpret their silent words

A pale glow pre-dominates in the eyes,

Eyes that've seen much, tolerated much,

Eyes that've seen every loving touch,

The blackenend blood winds its way upto the poisoned heart

Sending pulses for it to relieve the body of any more misery.

People around me talk in some unknown language,

Unknown, or known, but seems to be unknown?

A svelte veil shields the animate from the inanimate

I ask slowly. "Is this what it feels like to be enlightened?"

A voice deep inside cogitates, and whispers,

"This is what feels like

Death."

Dream Deferred

What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up
Like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--like a syrupy sweet?
Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.
Or does it explode?

----Langston Hughes----

EPL Super Sunday: Liverpool v/s Manchester United

A classic Sunday showdown between two arch rivals, Liverpool & Manchester United, only 6 points separating them, a match everyone was looking forward to, as Rafael Benitez (Liverpool Manager) set onto re-write his record of a poor performance of his side against the Red Devils in the last 6 games.

Game starts: Anfield Liverpool in their traditional all red, Man U in all black.

It was a tension packed exciting encounter between the 2 football Giants, full of tackles, bookings, heated arguments. Liverpool had their chances, with Fernando Torres with the best chance of the game heading the ball off target while Van der Sar was out of his marked space. The Spaniard wasn't at his majestic best, the kind of form he is capable of & the kind of form he in the game against Marseille.

In the 43rd Minute, Carlos Tevez flicked on from a Giggs corner after Rooney had sent it firing towards the goal, the opener more a result of poor defending & no marking from the hosts than class from the Argentinian forward.

Liverpool really heated things up in the first part of the 2nd half, but, Ferdinand, Evra, Vidic & Co. were rock solid at the back, determined to see through the rising pressure. United had another chance to double their lead, but, Wayne sent it wide.

Liverpool tried hard, but couldn't net in an equaliser, Steven Gerrard failing to inspire his team, unlike many times.

At the 93rd minute, the whistle blew, bringing an end to Liverpool's chances of getting to the top as they drifted 9 points apart from the defending champions, Manchester United.

Final Score- Liverpool 0:1 Manchester United

What a match, full of excitement, never did I feel bored while my eyes were glued to the TV throughout the whole episode. Waiting for the next match now, another Grand Slam when Arsenal host Chelsea in the Emirates Stadium.

Took a short break & came online to have an updated score on my blog. :D

Do Not Go Gentle Into That Night

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on that sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

----Dylan Thomas----

May Be I'm Addicted....

Throughout my 20 years, I have fallen victim to several addictions (not drugs of course, and also not gambling), most of the addictions have been harmful playing crazes, a determination to see the end of the game within a week, or doing stuff that won't lead me anywhere. Here's a summarized list:

1) Crazy about Harry Potter & liking everything about the teenage wizard, an addiction in itself, I would buy every available stuff (shirts, pencils, erasers, game CDs & other HP merchandise) & I am not mentioning the books here, as I have gone through the majority of them a zillion times. At one point of time, I was so obsessed that I was prepared to go to Oxfordshire to meet Emma Watson (Hermione Granger) & also audition for a role in the forthcoming movies.

2) Then came WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment), I would each show on TV twice a day, one in the evening & one at night, I was completely taken over by WWE. I would perform the "wrestling" moves on pillows, and began to go to gym & develop my muscles (a move that I don't regret now). I dreamnt of wrestling, I ate, slept, drank wrestling, it seemed the most beautiful thing on Earth & several times I told my mother: I wanna be a Wrestler, nothing else. I was so engrossed with the thing & once, when I was in class 9, a heated argument with a friend resulted me in "choke slamming" him on the study table, he didn't go unconscious, but was badly hurt & our class teacher called my mother & complained about my violent behavior. She later wrote in my slam book (on the penultimate day of class 9) that I was Muhammad Ali!

3) My peak teenage years, 15-18 were spent in indulging in various acts, of which girls played an insignificant role, well, I always wanted a girl, and still want her now. Nevertheless, smoking, which I took up in class 11, as fun, turned into an addiction, it didn't go beyond all barriers, but, I dunno for some reason, I loved smoking, as to me, it gave a sense of freedom, a feeling of maturity, I didn't smoke out of depression or sadness or tension, nothing like that, but out of fun, I know it seems insane, but that's what it was, I smoked for fun. (I managed to quit it a year back).

4) Next came, the online game Tribal Wars, a strategy game, like Age Of Empires, a strategy game that I couldn't take my eyes off. I would sit hours (usually 12-14) in front of my laptop (I was in hostel then) & chalk out plans to attack my enemies, defend myself against incoming dangers, grow my empire etc. I would advise all of you to try out the game, it's cool, but gets boring after sometime.

5) Then, comes Orkut, I started with: What the hell is this fucking thing? People keep on sending me requests in my e-mail to join it, I was a little apprehensive of making the move, but, eventually I joined the gargantuan network of friends & blessed it for reviving the falling relationships with my school buddies. Here comes the funny part, when I came back to Kolkata, I took up Orkut seriously & would be online in there 24*7, scraps, as they call them, became my obsession, I would toil day & night to increase them. When I finally deleted my account on 31st October, 2007, I had 760,010 scraps, and this isn't a lie, I was ranked #31 in India & #1 in Kolkata & West Bengal.
Well, I do have an Orkut account (which I use not-so-often) & I have another 76 Accounts which I don't log into at all (so you can well understand my craze about this thing).

6) My latest addiction is Blogging, you can find me online in Blogger, for more than 10 hours a day, checking others' blogs, writing stuff with a frequency & intensity I never knew I could achieve & have also made some very good friends, some of whom I would mention in here: The girl with a zillion namesakes, Clouds (Deya), Nothingman, Sean, Arnold & many more, with whom I can share feelings & thoughts.

-Sam.

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how straight the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

----William Ernest Henley----

The poet was suffering from tuberculosis in his joints, he wrote this poem while he was on bed.

Black....

I came to Kolkata with high hopes of enjoying time with friends, meeting relatives, going out, having fun, spend time with my mom.

Look at my current situation, I am confined to the shelter of my study room, as carpenters work on the door of my bedroom, my mother too busy in her daily schedule & has diverted her attention to the carpenters. No time for me, sadly.

My friends are all battling for dear life, with their semester exams going on, and they'll continue upto 18th or 20th of December, so another week of dull days for me, sitting in front of my PC & blogging or playing FIFA 2007.

Coming to relatives, my closest & dearest cousin is also having her exams, my uncles are outta town with their families, my cousin bro is sick, and so, I've reached a dead end in here also.

So, I'm here counting days which seem to continue for eternities & cursing my luck for having such a horrendous time in my home town.